Belonging to the tribe

family, Hypnotherapy, Past Life Regression, Philosophy, psychotherapy

Some people have no problem eliminating their “blood” family from their lives, but at what cost long term? 
 Often family members will perceive a slight or may not be privy to the whole story and so an inter-generational rift begins. 
 It may have started over a family event, such as a wedding where a child of separated parents expects more financial support than one parent can offer, or a forgotten present for  a grandchild or even neglecting to invite partners of cousins to milestone celebrations. 
The list could go on and as a therapist I have heard many stories about families. Most of the time it comes back to the perception of the event and no two people will be able to recollect an event the same way.
As the story grows stronger through the telling and re-telling over the years, resentment, anger and other negative emotions form many layers like a brittle veneer over the original event. 
Layer upon layer, passed down like a family heirloom, the toxic effects sending tendrils into all sorts of places – other relationships…….until the negativity spreads to cousins, friends of family and causes discomfort whenever the participants meet.
Looking back, is it possible to take the “righteous goggles” off or even take some time to think about what might have been going on in that other person’s life? 
As a hypnotherapist, I know that it is possible and in a session many years down the track, there may be a time when the client is able to have a conversation that resolves how they feel about the original issue. 
Sure, the other person may not be there, they may be long gone or dust,  but the energy changes and on a different level there is some resolution. 
For many people the ones you call your own may not all be “blood”, but it’s your choices that ensure, for the most time, they are loyal, honest, loving people. Surrounding yourself with like minded people is healthy, but it is also healthy to understand that for true growth, you are able to accept opinions other than your own, accept well meant criticism, accept observations and be able to forgive when someone is a little more opinionated than you prefer.
There is a popular saying  “you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends”. Again, from a Hypnotherapist’s viewpoint. and one trained in Past Life Regression – this is not so. If you are familiar with the philosophy, the child’s soul will have chosen to incarnate into this family to learn lessons from the dynamics of this current lifetime in order to mature on a soul level. 
There is always a choice, conscious or subconscious, as to who gets to stay as your family.

Almost on top of the world!

Abundance, creativity, dreaming, Energy, energy fields, guides, Heart Chakra, Insights, Intuition, possibilty, Spirituality

A short sojourn on a property that is currently for sale.
A warm winter’s day with the scent of the wattles drifting across the senses much like the clouds lazily moving across the sky.
Surrounded by State Forest it was possible to drink up the energy of the trees  for a few moments and take a few more moments to notice some of the larger trees and just noticing the colour and textures – the difference between the new saplings pushing up and the old, mossy, bare fruit trees that remain as guardians to the ruins of an old burnt down homestead.

Using the imagination to wonder about long forgotten people who once stood on this land and dreamed their dreams.
Allowing images to come to mind and letting them go with the wafts of wattle perfume.
Observing the birds, noticing the bleached bones of a marsupial and treading carefully around them on the way down to a hidden dam.
Noticing the reflection of the forest beyond  in the still and perhaps deep waters.
Then a gentle stroll back up along the fence line that needs a little attention, considering/ wondering whether this is the right place to be.
Is this what my heart has asked for?
Noticing how it responds to the energy of the land and listening to rational thoughts about the business of buying this place. Bringing the attention to things such as conservation and Aboriginal heritage overlays. And of course the issue of wildfire….

Monday Women’s Networking

Coaching, Life balance, networking, Uncategorized

In conjunction with a colleague, I run a monthly networking meeting with a little difference.

  • no fees
  • no elevator speeches
  • no one is excluded (unlike many groups where only one of each profession are allowed) as we believe in the principles of abundance

now we are moving to a new level and want to share some of our experience and expertise with other women starting out their businesses.
You can find out more about us on our blog Monday Connections

[polldaddy poll=2912798]

Continuing Education

Education, Life balance, Philosophy, , ,

ImprovementThe road to enlightenment can be bumpy or smooth, twisted or straight, forked or direct…..no matter which one you are travelling on, be certain that it is exactly the right one you are meant to be on.

The particular road in the photo is bumpy and corrugated – the legacy of being the old Ghan railway track. The railway was re-routed because of the damage caused by the Finke River flooding and regular stranding of the train, so the tracks were ripped up and the railway became a road.

It is possible to traverse this road without feeling every bump and shake….

How? ….you may ask…… by increasing your speed so that the tyres of your vehicle skim across the top/peaks of the corrugations.

And so it is with continuing education…. there are peaks and troughs, but once the momentum is gained then you move more smoothly and quickly towards your goal. With every long journey it is recommended that you have a map, but it’s not always necessary if you have a gift for navigation by the stars……and sometimes, it is the road less travelled that is the one most interesting.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Work Experience

Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Life balance, Meditation, Philosophy, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Planting seedsSetting up in a Hypnotherapy or Coaching practice takes time. Do the study, then some more and then a steep learning curve on how to market yourself and perhaps find a niche.

“Find a niche an inch wide and a mile deep” was a comment made in one lecture I attended.

All well and good, but a couple of years after graduating, I was still looking for that niche like the proverbial needle in a haystack. Around me were fellow students who seemed to have easily and effortlessly slipped into their niches …Past Life Regressions, Lives between Lives, Style Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Business Coaching, Weight Loss, Stop Smoking… and the list goes on.

The bookshelves are groaning with the weight of recommended reading. The printer spits out marketing letters on a regular basis. I have sat down and written about my ideal client so many times I feel like we are conjoined twins…..

Yes, the clients are coming, but for a variety of reasons.

Mostly for weight with an underlying theme of stress.

Now that’s something I understand!

Perhaps I have stumbled upon my niche, except it doesn’t look an inch wide… more like a mile wide and a bottomless chasm deep.

The interest in stress started when I was still teaching. I noticed that if I kept an appearance of calm, then the students seemed to respond better. Combining a teaching job and parenting 2 young children meant that my meditation practice was made up of incidental moments rather than a half hour session at any one time. Breathing at the traffic lights, mindfulness when on yard duty – appreciating the moments of nature… a leaf…. an interesting cloud….

Leaving teaching for a couple of years, I went to a job where I was able to observe how people with learning difficulties reacted to stress. An interest in how the mind adapts to stress grew from here and CBT based Adolescent Counseling beckoned. Back to teaching and full-time for three years. This time the universe threw me a curved ball. Being back in the classroom with a different perspective on student learning was fabulous, but the staffroom was toxic and not entirely from the black mould growing around the school.

But that’s a whole different story to be told later…

I left.

I took time out.

I studied some more and graduated with a Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy and a Cert 4 in Training. I didn’t complete the Medical Intuitive course I thought was my next journey.

I went and sat in the Simpson Desert.

Then I went back to teaching part-time and a small client list part-time. Coaching studies to augment the Hypnotherapy and I was just muddling along. I didn’t have anything specifically wrong with my health, but just didn’t have the energy that I used to. Palpitations were becoming more frequent, but I dismissed them as a result of the coffee I was drinking. I didn’t notice that I wasn’t meditating any more. I was asked to speak about women and stress for a local council’s Women’s Network.  Scroll back through some of the older posts and you’ll find that speech somewhere and the events that transpired a few months later!

So now it seems that my niche found me, rather than the other way around.

How curious is that?

I’m presenting a workshop next month with the topic “From Stress to Strength – Building Resilience for the Small Business Owner”  and I’m preparing for that with a bit of work experience…

Yep!! I’m STRESSED!!

Just getting in a bit of practice….. some good stress involved this time with the imminent arrival of a grandson…some bad stress with a blind, diabetic aging dog that has to be let out to pee 2 -3 times a night.

Sleep deprivation is not good for stress management!

PastThe body mind connection is letting me know I need to manage the stress a bit better, so the emWave is getting a good workout several times a day.

Last night was a case in point. I dream. Colour. Action… always vivid. Sometimes so full of action I am tired when I wake up. Sometimes, not very often now, the events are too vivid & I have been known to wake with a blood curdling yell. That didn’t happen last night, but I woke as I threw off the covers and went to confront some intruders that weren’t there and who came through a doorway that wasn’t there….. it took quite some time to convince my conscious mind that they and the doorway didn’t exist.  This time the dog waking and going for a wander down the street at 2am was just what I needed as the activity in going looking for him helped to dissipate the stress hormones and I was able to get back to sleep relatively quickly.

A couple of emWave sessions before starting writing showed that I was entering into “Coherence” fairly easily. More sessions scheduled this morning before the afternoon clients.

It’s all about putting yourself first, to better serve clients.

It could be called Work Experience!

Marketing

Coaching, Education, , , , ,

….aka shameless self promotion……

Actually if I don’t do it no-one else will….  the business is still at the size where it’s only me. I’m the Therapist, the secretary, the accountant, the publicist, the workshop presenter, the social media guru……

Yes, I’ve read the E-Myth and I have systems in place, manuals written but the bottom line is that I’m the technician, the manager and all the other fancy titles that were in the book and you could think to dream up as I am not yet ready to outsource. Those who know me well will recognize one of my fairly strong traits of not letting go……

I actually believe that that’s a positive for the moment. It means that I am on a steep learning curve for marketing –  finding out what works and what doesn’t – as well as SEO for the websites. There have been some interesting conversations with telemarketers abusing me for not wanting to use their overseas services, when I am a supporter of home grown talent and keeping jobs local. That’s not an invitation for SEO people outside Australia to spam me with their pitch either. Fact is, I don’t write here to be on page 1 of Google – I write because I like to and maybe there are a few people interested. Call it my 5 minutes of fame…..

So take a look at my latest online venturing.. it’s called a pitch site.

http://balance4life-programs.crushpath.me/hypnotherapy

Getting the Right Message

Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Life balance, Philosophy, , , , , , ,

let it goWe are bombarded daily with messages …..buy this…..do that…… and whilst our conscious mind can filter out what is important to us at this moment and what is not, our subconscious mind is listening in, filing the information away, just in case it is useful later on……

If you are familiar with NLP, you will know that the filters will

  • Delete
  • Distort
  • Generalize.

Added to that is how we process the information through our senses.

This could be

  • Visual – Sight
  • Auditory- Sound
  • Kinesthetic –Touch
  • Olfactory –Smell
  • Gustatory –Taste

These are our Representational Systems.

These senses also contribute to the words that we process or use, so using Visual based communication would include pictures but also words that are visual such as “looks like…”, “to get a perspective….”, “beyond a shadow of a doubt…..”,  “appears to me….”, “can you see that….”, “it looks good….”, “focus on……”, “show me…..”. And it is similar for the other senses….

How we view the past is coloured by our perception. Five people with the five different processing skills listed above who witnessed a car accident would have vastly different accounts of the event, yet all be correct. Not only is our  Representational System a major factor in how we remember, but our values or belief systems and our emotions also contribute to how our memories are formed.

If you have young children, you might be aware that they go through a stage where they tell lies. It’s part of the maturational process, but they believe what they are saying is true….. much like our current crop of politicians, but that’s another story…..

They are using their imagination, and we are all born with a fantastic imagination. We can create anything in our minds, we can also re-create our memories. This is especially useful if the memories are painful. Using the Hypnotic state, you can return to any time or place in your past and reframe the outcome to make it more positive or less hurtful. You can use the Gestalt process to have those conversations you wished you could have had at the time – this process is quite healing.

So just perhaps, when the past does call – it’s the subconscious mind bringing up something to work with, to reframe, to heal. You just don’t have to live there anymore and can return to a brighter future, bringing back some gems of wisdom or an insight to help you move forward.

 

 

Trust

Coaching, conversation, Emotional baggage, Energy, friendship, lessons learned, Philosophy, toxicity


Trust is like an egg and it’s not like an egg.

If you want to break an egg you have to do it from the outside. 
The only way to break up a trust is from the inside.
O. Henry

Agaricus Muscaris – Beautiful but deadly…..the toxins in this toadstool act on the brain, producing vertigo and delirium …. with the symptoms developing after a period of 12 – 14 hours. There is no antidote and the end result is total paralysis.
Homeopathically, it can be used for neuralgia, vertigo and some skin conditions. In the homeopathic preparation, it is not toxic when used appropriately. The poison resembles that of the rattlesnake and acts on the red blood corpuscles……..Trust as I’d trust a rattlesnake —Anon
There is a restlessness from violent itching and on falling asleep will start and twitch, waking often. ……

Walking away from a conversation several months back, I had the feeling that I shouldn’t have shared a personal comment. I don’t sleep well at the best of times and often the subconscious mind will take a while to process.  Head … awhirl with doubts like a sky full of starlings — George Garrett …..and I will often find myself awake in the early hours of the morning, sitting bolt upright with an idea or a revelation. 
I had a niggling feeling that the conversation would be repeated, but decided to give the person the benefit of doubt. 
In coaching, there is an exercise that is useful in deciding if a relationship is open and honest. So I asked myself the following questions:

  • How comfortable am I with this person now?
  • Am I able to express myself freely with this person in the future?
  • Will I avoid talking about certain subjects or situations with this person
  • Am I lying to this person, by hiding the truth?
  • Does this person ever avoid talking about similar things with me?

No more to be trusted (with news) than a cat with a saucer of milk —Christopher Isherwood …..another social situation and a different person in the social group makes an interesting, but off-topic comment……didn’t think much of it at the time……. but a week or so later, the penny dropped. The trust that I placed in my “friend” was misplaced….. A secret in his [the gossip’s] mouth is like a wild bird put into a cage; whose door no sooner opens, but it is out —Ben Jonson
So, with this person I will become like the echidna who curls up into a ball, so that the soft underbelly is protected by spikes, until the threat is past. I will carefully choose my words in her company. I no longer feel comfortable in her company, as I will be avoiding divulging anything personal or emotional. I will form my conversation around questions about her, not to share the elicited answers but to engage her in conversation about herself and fill the time.

 Friendship is like a butterfly’s wing, once it’s torn it may never fly again 
– Anon

 

  

Mapping Your Resources

Coaching, Education, Hypnotherapy, Life balance, Philosophy, , , , , , , , , , , ,

possibilityCreating your own treasure map is possible…. When you map the resources you have and identify what you need, then you are better equipped to start your journey.

Have recently completed a course to become a Professional Supervisor, I came across a great exercise in the textbook we had to read and have used it in some sessions I have already taken.

You need a large sheet of paper and lots of coloured pens or textas. If you feel so inclined, you could also have on hand some old magazines, scissors and glue – to create a collage – very similar to vision boarding.

In the centre, draw a representation of yourself – it can be a symbol or a picture but make it large enough so that you can draw or write symbols/diagrams or words that represent your INNER resources. If there is no room, that’s fine – just attach them to the original drawing.

Next, think about all the things, people, events that support and sustain you, yet are external to you. Place them around the symbol/picture of yourself.

  • Are they near or far,
  • evenly spaced or grouped,
  • are the links strong or weak?
  • What is missing?
  • Do they lift  you up or weigh you down?

Use as much colour and texture as you feel necessary.

Take completely different colour and draw symbols or pictures of things that BLOCK you, or are in the way to fulfilling your dreams.

It could be FEAR – when it comes down to it, we all have fears and the three most basic fears are:

  • Fear of not being loved
  • Fear of not being good enough
  • Fear of not belonging

and these are what hold us back.  Fear of not being good enough can lead to a fear of failure and yes, even fear of success. Strange but true! Many people have a fear of success, because they think that in being successful they may lose friends and therefore no longer “belong”.

The object of identifying the fears and the resources both within and around us it to allow us to work on building new and stronger resources. We have a choice – we can “feel the fear and do it anyway”  (as Susan Jeffers so succinctly put it in her book) or we can choose to feel the opposite…. appreciation. I wonder what feels better!!

Going back to your resource map … what treasures have you discovered?

What tools, people or things do you appreciate for having got you to where you are now?

What do you need to move forward?

Is your inner compass set right to get you to your destiny?

Well, you are the mapmaker in this case… so look to your inner resources and review them. Cast your eye over your external resources and blocks and decide what to keep and what to change. Dig deep enough in the centre and you will find gold.

Unseen Energies

creativity, dreaming, Energy, energy fields, guides, Orbs, photos

Every so often, for as long as I can remember, I will catch a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye.
I turn and look and there is nothing there.
As a young child I was chastised for talking to “imaginary friends” and writing stories at school about fairies and the like.
At one stage, just after arriving in England as a very young child, we lived in a castle that had been converted to apartments and I often woke my parents up in the night as I was standing up in my cot “chatting” to the others in the room!

I’ve always had a sense of something special in nature and I remember walking  down a country lane in England as a 5 or 6 year old with one of the Nannies that we had, and telling her that there was a special place ahead. I picked some flowers and shortly after that we discovered a small waterfall or spring at the side of the road with an old carved rock – I can still see it in my mind’s eye – but when I asked my parents about it many years later, they knew nothing of it. Even on a trip back to the area as an adult, I couldn’t find it or anything about it.
I’ve always had a sense of when things are “not quite right” – when traveling and adjusted my plans accordingly – which has kept me safe – especially when traveling alone.
In the last few years, the movements have become more insistent and frequent.
A fellow Hypnotherapist and Reiki Master announced that my guides were wanting my attention!
On one of my outback trips, I had an uneasy feeling about water across a road in a remote area – not sure where, when or how – I put it down to apprehension about a river crossing, especially as we often travel on our own.
We modified the trip and headed for the interior where there were no flowing rivers at the time. I have posted about that trip before……but long story short…. the heavens opened up and the interior became very wet and boggy and after finally making it in to Innaminka, we were there for 4 more days to wait for the roads to dry out!!!

I started taking photos when I was getting these “flashes” – asking permission for them to show me who they were and have started getting an interesting collection of orb photos.
Rationalists and skeptics should have tuned out of this post by now!
Their theory is that it is dust or moisture on the lens, but does not explain to me why the “artifact” moves across the screen in a series of photos taken in quick succession.
For a while, I had thought that I was only able to take photos like this while I was out of the city, but the first photo and the next were taken recently from my back deck.
 This confirms for me, that I am surrounded by the otherwise unseen energies and it brings great comfort to me as I sense that they are benign.