This was one of my goals in 2013…. and very happy to say that I can tick that box!
As the cover notes say, it is an easy to read book and I hope that you will buy it and enjoy Chapter 11 !!
It will be formally launched in March 2014 and I would like to offer you a special end of year/pre-launch price …. just click HERE.
There is the Zen parable that tells of the young monk who stumbled and as he fell, caught hold of some bamboo to steady himself. The Zen Master accompanying him asked if he noticed that the bamboo bent, yet was strong enough to support him. He also asked the novice if he had also noticed how bamboo gets pushed around by the wind, yet always grows tall towards the sunlight above….not snapping… a most resilient plant…..
It took quite a lot of courage for me to finally say “No – I’m not going to that function” & I did it with the help of the grief counsellor that I’ve been seeing this past year. Not reaching snapping point, but that stillpoint inside where there is a knowing that it is time to do the “right thing” for myself.
Girls are raised to “do the right thing” and for many years, I’ve acquiesced and gone along to functions where I haven’t felt comfortable. One girlfriend laughed many years ago, when I told her of the story of bending in the wind like the grass or bamboo….. she suggested “doormat” would be a better description.
I’ve never really enjoyed the hoopla and razzle dazzle of tinsel and false bonhomie…The over indulgences in the senses with food or the misappropriation of sacred music that has been turned into Musak for the masses long before Advent starts. I’ve long thought that Christmas really doesn’t suit the introverted empath!
This year I wanted to experience some peace and serenity on my own …. not long … a few hours would suffice.
My soul needed some lush, green energy to repair.
Sunday morning saw some chores completed and then I set off on my adventure. Fully intending to go to the beach, not that I really enjoy the beach, I started to drive. I asked that I be guided to where I needed to be, (& please include an Oak tree!) I took familiar roads and realized that I was near a pretty picnic spot in the Dandenongs. No room in the carpark… full! Not what I wanted at all even though the tree ferns looked spectacular….. Then I saw a side road, it looked as if it might be interesting and made my way along that. Lots of tight curves and it required full attention to drive…. nothing like mindfulness and being in the moment!
As I emerged to the top of the hill a sign caught my eye… some Memorial Gardens….. a little further down the road I decided to go back and investigate. I parked, wandered in a little hesitantly as the place seemed deserted….and read the sign….
You really do have to chuckle at what the Universe throws up at you!
I was born a Harper (not the same family that developed the gardens). It seemed that this was just the right place to be…. I wondered if there was an Oak tree……
Following the meandering paths, I came to a small clearing and there was a majestic Oak tree.. with a bench nearby to sit on and contemplate the surrounds.
It was time to just “be”. As another saying goes, “we are human BEings, not human DOings”.
Curious about the rest of the gardens, I set off to explore… masses of Hydrangeas starting to flower… a few months ago the Camelias and Azaelias would have been centre stage.
So many varieties of Japanese Maples, their delicate leaves providing texture and colour to the backdrop of so many interesting plants.
Another strategically placed bench and contemplation of the Foxgloves for a few moments.
Observing how the Currawong family were playing in the branches of tall trees.
Before I knew it, a couple of hours had passed & I had a phone call from my son wondering if I was OK.
Yes I was…. better than I have been for some time…. a combination of the energy of the gardens and finally stepping into my integrity.
Walking back to the Oak tree, I noticed a couple of brightly coloured butterflies, dancing in the sun and the dappled shade.
Symbols of transformation, of finding joy in life and a symbol of the soul….
Coaching is underway and I have re-visited my values.
This time I approached it a little differently and have set the intent to break through old beliefs that no longer serve. Astounding really, how we can unconsciously hold on to familiar patterns of thought and not realize how that no longer works if we want to make changes.
Coupled with the coaching, I’m doing a marketing course and apart from looking at the ideal client, re-visiting my niche and looking to get my message much clearer than in the past. I now realize that I have been a “Jack of all trades” ( or should that be Jill?) and even though I LOVE doing the Reiki, Polarity Therapy and Homeopathy, it is really the Hypnotherapy that is the passion. Seeing clients literally change in the chair as they access their subconscious and resolve long-term issues is the reward.
There is also the realization that these therapies are just tools to be used and can be applied as needed to empower clients. Less focus on naming the therapies and more on getting resolution for the client. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the wood for the trees… and even though I have done a coaching course and can self coach, a fresh set of eyes will reveal the obvious.
Managing time better is another priority as I reduce the number of projects on the go. It’s all about planning and being more effective as well as setting goals for the future. This will be important as in a couple of weeks I will take possession of a 40 acre property in Northern Victoria. Scheduling the time to maintain it and develop it into a workable retreat will be a challenge, but one I’m up for!
Another project has come to a closure and this will result in a book which will be released in early December. I am a contributing author to a book about women’s health and wellness by some well known Australian identities. I look forward to sharing more news about that very shortly and of course if you want an idea for a Christmas present………..!!
Gradually I am bringing my focus in…..
At the end of October the business registration for BrightLight Specialized Education runs out and after 4 years it is time to let it go. it has served its purpose and is a little too long to use in social media & on the web.
Plus, many people have mistakenly thought that it is about special education – which is about educating people with learning difficulties, whereas the intention behind the word “specialized” was that I was specializing in holistic education. No matter.. the new business name is Balance4Life programs and that’s been running in tandem for just over 2 and half years.
You may have noticed that I have re-badged/re-named this blog to Balance4Life, although It still has the BrightLight domain name. That runs out in November and it is also not being renewed and it will revert to being a wordpress blog. I will continue to post here and add opinions and may eventually change the theme as well, although I do like this one.
Other changes are in the pipeline too….. involving some travel but more about that in a later post.
The past few weeks have slipped by in a bit of a blur….. and suddenly it is mid October!
I decided to sit down and coach myself – taking the time to be honest in my answers and posing what I thought were some pretty good questions.
Starting off with ” What do I want to focus on?” Now there’s an interesting question… having been blessed with the double whammy of mercurial Gemini and (year of the) monkey mind, I am easily distracted by “bright, shiny” things. The conclusion I came to was that I need to focus….. FOCUS. Full stop.
“So how is that a problem for me right now?”
Still feeling tired and muddle-headed from the vaccination reaction, I am aware that my focus has shifted. Yes, I love seeing clients for Hypnotherapy and Coaching, but the marketing and business side of it is exhausting. Time to consolidate my interests, including websites and blogs and perhaps do some outsourcing, giving me time to see more clients, write more material and most importantly, time to stop and smell the roses. But back to FOCUS…… and answering the question….. I find that I am a little lot less patient with myself than with clients. So the problem is staying on task and to do this I need to create a clearer idea of the future. Future clients, future seminars and be more specific.
I did have to chuckle when I went back to my vision board from a few months ago…… there it was…. the request to the universe to have at least 3 weeks off, resting, sleeping in, and having some general “down time”. The universe gave me 5 weeks and the time off wasn’t at a resort or retreat, but home in bed!!
Next question…. “If everything was exactly how I wanted it to be……what would I see? What would I hear? What would I feel? What would I be telling myself?” ………this is being specific!! So I have duly answered those questions and put them into my new vision board. It’s the perfect timing for it with the October Full Moon (& eclipse).
Am I going to tell you what I put down?
Maybe, but not today.
It was around this time 14 years ago that we acquired a bundle of blonde energy.
First his eyesight began to go, but being a quick learner ( & as long as weGradually he moved his bed from laundry downstairs to upstairs in the lounge (& many nights on the lounge suite) until in recent months he moved into my home office which was closer to the front door, which suited us all as he needed to go outside more frequently during the night….
Last night seemed strange as I returned home…. no dog barking behind the front door or waiting on the front lawn as he had taken to doing. Even if I varied the time I came home, he knew when I was about to arrive, letting other family members know.
Ben didn’t take up much room in the house, but he certainly took up a big space in our hearts.
We will pick up his ashes later next week and plant a rose over them to remind us of him.
Probably a “Blue Moon” .. as a dog like this doesn’t come around very often.
A recent Louise Hay Facebook post suggested that one should take time to ask and explore these simple questions. Having a little time on my hands, as I recovered from the effects of a vaccine reaction, I decided to do this life audit.
What shall I now release from my life?
Fever creates some clarity and what I am now ready to release unhelpful behaviours, such as dwelling on the past – as the saying goes “The past is a country & I don’t live there anymore”. With the suffocating cough, I consulted Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life and found that the probable cause of coughing is
…. the new thought pattern or affirmation leaps from the page to shout at me……I AM NOTICED AND APPRECIATED IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAYS. I AM LOVED
What or who no longer works for me?
Still in the tribal chakra realms….. What no longer works for me is denying my spiritual, political and core beliefs.
I am ready to accept that there is a higher power and a realm of helpers ..be they guides or angels ….. and with the recent federal election was unable to vote with a clear conscience for either major political party and can now announce I am more aligned with the philosophy of the Greens.
The Who is a little more tricky, but I am ready to let go of many of the people in my life who, although many of whom have been around for 30 plus years, do not exhibit the ability to demonstrate loving or compassionate support when most needed. This includes many members of the family that I married into and was further validated by their complete lack of warmth in welcoming both my son and daughter’s partners into the fold.
What am I holding on to that holds me back?
Old habits die hard…. once a pattern has been established, it is easy to replicate. It is easier to just go with the flow, rather than rock the boat. When you become accustomed to dysfunction, after a while you adapt and it becomes the norm….. Late last week, I did the “right thing” and went to a function even though I was still unwell, that I really didn’t want to go to. Even as I went, my inner voice was chattering away in my ear….”Hypocrite”…..
Another clue is the probable cause from Heal Your Life….
So here I am, living a twilight life because I am holding on to what is comfortable, which in reality is holding me back…
The affirmation or new thought pattern is “I am safe. I love my life”.
Looking back at what I just wrote, the realization dawns that what is holding me back is procrastination. Finding external excuses to justify the inertia of not making the changes. It really is up to me to create the life I love.
What thoughts or beliefs belong to the old me?
Growing up in my own dysfunctional family, there was a strong competitive streak for academic achievement between my brother and myself. Homework time was difficult as he seemed to grasp the Maths so easily and could add long lists of numbers like my father, in his head.
It was easy to believe that I was “not good enough” at Maths, choir, sport and the list goes on. Yet I surprised everyone by getting 100% for a geometry test not long after and was most indignant when it was suggested that I had somehow cheated. I understood the shapes, the sacred geometry and could “see” how it worked, whereas the numbers alone or in algebraic formulas made no sense at all.
Having people around me that don’t believe in me is no longer an option and last week a family member questioned me about the diagnosis of a vaccine reaction. That may not have fitted her belief system, as she has total faith in vaccinations. I need to trust in my gut reactions and create clear boundaries in order to believe in me!!
How am I being unloving to myself?
How cleverly I have manifested excess weight and recent illnesses!!
By being unwell, the cycle of lack of energy and being unfit are ways in which I can be unkind to this physical body.
The last couple of weeks has seen me juicing and the vitality of the fresh fruits and vegetables are helping my body and soul mend. By denying my soul connection to living a more spiritual life, by living out of integrity, I have been harsh and unloving to myself.
Am I ready to let go?
A resounding yes!!! The last few weeks have been like a hibernation… a retreat into a cocoon…. and with spring well and truly in the air, it is time to emerge and let go of the past. Yes, some of the experiences may have defined my perception of the the world, but even as my body is still weak and I am repairing, the spirit feels so much stronger and ready to soar.
What do I believe that really works for me?
It has taken a while, but I am starting to trust in myself, trusting my own judgement. So trusting in the universe a little more often seems like a pretty good idea too!
Looking back, there have been many instances of how things have worked out just OK for me whilst all around is chaos.
This is now the time to trust that the angels, my guides will lead me towards a future that is fulfilling and full of love, laughter and abundance.
What is going on in my life that is terrific and wonderful?
A sense of anticipation with life changes that are happening in so many subtle and wonderful ways.
A new grandchild and observing a new family unit being created with such love, yet seeing them not accepting the dysfunctional behaviours exhibited by cousins that were once close.
A few close and special friends who also have an interest in the spiritual and esoteric check in on me from time to time. New friends with similar ethics have offered to help and whilst this is a little strange, I can learn to be open to their warm and loving ways.
Where am I being very loving to myself?
I am allowing myself time off. Time to sit. To think. To just be. I am going within and having a big spring clean of memories, perceptions and allowing myself time to grieve. Not just for the loss of my father, but the loss of my mother who died in 1999. I went to Perth for the funeral, came back to Melbourne and life just went on and I was surrounded by people who just didn’t seem to care, or who didn’t like any expression of emotion.
Where am I most content?
I have a soul urge to go back to the bush. To have a place where I can just be.
Not the desert, where I am equally comfortable, but a place that has some clear plains, maybe a small rise with some granite boulders and some old, river gums.
Where I can see the sunlight glinting on the half moon, crescent shaped leaves and the textures & colours of the bark. Where I can go outside at night and see the stars.
Let me acknowledge myself for all the growth and change.
What do I want to bring to my life?
Integrity, warmth and understanding and abundance.
What do I want to create?
A life with no further regrets. A life full of laughter, full of genuine friends. A life that contributes in some small way to helping others become who they truly deserve to be.
How do I want the next year to be?
Busy, yet not frantic. With time to enjoy my children’s achievements and accomplishments. A busy, but rewarding Hypnotherapy practice, seeing clients who are looking to heal their past and to realize their soul potential. Time to find that bush block and build a healing sanctuary and labyrinth to walk within.
Who do I want to bring into my world?
Friends and colleagues who are walking on the same spiritual discovery path. Soulmates, soul friends and those who have something to teach and share.
How do I want to look?
I want to look healthy and at peace. Radiating health from within to without.
What image do I want to project?
Having taken off the masks that I wore for so long, there is no longer a need to project an image… that I am now finally comfortable in my own skin, what you see is what you get. I have allowed the colours and tips to grow out of my hair and am comfortable with the grey and white streaks that have appeared. I have earned these stripes!
How healthy do I want to be?
I am ready now to take better care of my health by reducing weight, leaving unhelpful habits in the past. I want to be healthy and fit so as to build my dream and not be exhausted.
How prosperous do I want to feel?
Abundance comes in many ways and financial abundance is high on the list. The last few years have seen some struggles with financial abundance and this has allowed a greater appreciation of the money flow when it happens.
How much love am I willing to experience?
Unlimited, unconditional love!! How big is the universe?
What kind of world do I want to live in?
The ideal world would be a place where there is a sense of peace, a mindfulness and purpose to daily life. Where there is acceptance for difference, equality in relationships and trust that the Universe has enough for all.
Where do I want my spirituality to go?
To follow my soul urge, to create a sacred space that allows myself and others to get in touch with the core beliefs. To accept that others have their religious beliefs and not impinge upon them, yet maintaining my own boundaries as to my beliefs.
Affirm:
I know that where I am is the totality of possibilities . . . not just a few possibilities, but the totality of all creation.
I am not limited by statistics, medical opinions, time, or authorities.
I am one with the infinite wisdom and capabilities of the Universe itself.
All good is available to me, right here and right now.
All I have to do is to use the power of my thoughts to create that which I desire. I know that. Now let me live it!
This last week has been a bit of a blur….I’ve been in an altered state due to a raging fever which is the result of a visit to my local doctor.
Harsh words you may say, but it’s cost me time off work, which when you are self employed, costs money …there is no sick leave…
I walked into the rooms on Friday feeling well …all I needed was a referral to another professional……when he found out that I was a new grandmother, said I needed to have a Whooping Cough vaccination. I queried this as I had a bout of this as a child & thought that it would give me immunity.
Apparently not so…but that depends on the doctor you are talking to.
Returning to the office, the receptionist commented on how pale I looked. Putting it down to a busy week, I shrugged it off….
Saturday saw a rash spreading down my right arm …a bit hot & I put it down to the Tetanus component…..
Sunday night or the early hours of Monday morning were a different matter. I woke coughing , unable to catch my breath until I finally threw up a heap of phlegm.
With a workshop scheduled for Monday afternoon , I desperately hoped that this would pass over. I called the surgery to say that I was unwell since the vaccination & they scheduled me in with a different doctor. I was sent for chest X-rays in case it was pneumonia, but heard nothing until Wednesday evening when the practice nurse called to check up in me.
As the results of the X-ray showed clear lungs & because I was still unwell, it was decided that this should be reported as an adverse effect of a vaccine & I am to be contacted in the next day or so by the local hospital.
So, getting back to the title of the post…I have been in a different state of mind this week… The time has come to make some changes & I will be taking down these pages -but keeping the blog posts in the next few days
Some people have no problem eliminating their “blood” family from their lives, but at what cost long term?
Often family members will perceive a slight or may not be privy to the whole story and so an inter-generational rift begins.
It may have started over a family event, such as a wedding where a child of separated parents expects more financial support than one parent can offer, or a forgotten present for a grandchild or even neglecting to invite partners of cousins to milestone celebrations.
The list could go on and as a therapist I have heard many stories about families. Most of the time it comes back to the perception of the event and no two people will be able to recollect an event the same way.
As the story grows stronger through the telling and re-telling over the years, resentment, anger and other negative emotions form many layers like a brittle veneer over the original event.
Layer upon layer, passed down like a family heirloom, the toxic effects sending tendrils into all sorts of places – other relationships…….until the negativity spreads to cousins, friends of family and causes discomfort whenever the participants meet.
Looking back, is it possible to take the “righteous goggles” off or even take some time to think about what might have been going on in that other person’s life?
As a hypnotherapist, I know that it is possible and in a session many years down the track, there may be a time when the client is able to have a conversation that resolves how they feel about the original issue.
Sure, the other person may not be there, they may be long gone or dust, but the energy changes and on a different level there is some resolution.
For many people the ones you call your own may not all be “blood”, but it’s your choices that ensure, for the most time, they are loyal, honest, loving people. Surrounding yourself with like minded people is healthy, but it is also healthy to understand that for true growth, you are able to accept opinions other than your own, accept well meant criticism, accept observations and be able to forgive when someone is a little more opinionated than you prefer.
There is a popular saying “you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends”. Again, from a Hypnotherapist’s viewpoint. and one trained in Past Life Regression – this is not so. If you are familiar with the philosophy, the child’s soul will have chosen to incarnate into this family to learn lessons from the dynamics of this current lifetime in order to mature on a soul level.
There is always a choice, conscious or subconscious, as to who gets to stay as your family.
A short sojourn on a property that is currently for sale.
A warm winter’s day with the scent of the wattles drifting across the senses much like the clouds lazily moving across the sky.
Surrounded by State Forest it was possible to drink up the energy of the trees for a few moments and take a few more moments to notice some of the larger trees and just noticing the colour and textures – the difference between the new saplings pushing up and the old, mossy, bare fruit trees that remain as guardians to the ruins of an old burnt down homestead.
Using the imagination to wonder about long forgotten people who once stood on this land and dreamed their dreams.
Allowing images to come to mind and letting them go with the wafts of wattle perfume.
Observing the birds, noticing the bleached bones of a marsupial and treading carefully around them on the way down to a hidden dam.
Noticing the reflection of the forest beyond in the still and perhaps deep waters.
Then a gentle stroll back up along the fence line that needs a little attention, considering/ wondering whether this is the right place to be.
Is this what my heart has asked for?
Noticing how it responds to the energy of the land and listening to rational thoughts about the business of buying this place. Bringing the attention to things such as conservation and Aboriginal heritage overlays. And of course the issue of wildfire….