Issues

balance, Coaching, ,

We all, at some time or another, have issues.

It is our choice as to how we act or react.

If we have come from a fear or control based childhood our responses are likely to be different from someone who has come from an emotionally intelligent background.

By overcomplicating things, we can often exacerbate an issue…..  who hasn’t heard of the saying “making mountains out of molehills” ?

By learning some simple emotional intelligence strategies, we can escape the return to “default” and exercise choice in our responses. These strategies will give you the courage to identify fears or issues and by facing them, you will resolve them. For example if you have an issue with conflict, then a useful strategy is to become aware of different perspectives. Ask yourself “What alternatives and opinions can be considered instead of sticking rigidly to this perspective?”

Abundance

Abundance, calm, conversation, ,

Depending on your outlook, the rhythm of the seasons brings great abundance….

Each season is a cause for celebration and when observing the cycles of the seasons, there is much to be grateful for.

As Melbourne swelters through a summer heat wave, I’ve observed an abundance of short temper. In one instance the power had to be turned off to a residential area to sort out a fault that meant that industrial sized air conditioners couldn’t be run. The heat was a little uncomfortable, but bearable and the power went off just as the sun went down and came back on about two hours later. Candles were found, both ordinary and citronella (to deter the abundant mosquitoes), and a pleasant evening outside conversing by candlelight ensued. Other households did the same and mixed with the sound of chirping cicadas was the low hum of neighbours chatting. The only discord was a neighbour several houses down ranting at the workmen about how old people needed to be kept cool, which brought a wry smile to those grey haired neighbours who were standing close by to her, many of whom had grown up in smaller houses with no airconditioning.

Taking time to enjoy the evening stillness, putting aside disharmony and participating fully in life’s adventures is but one path to abundance. When you are still, both internally and externally, you allow the abundance of the universe to flow toward you.  Notice your heartbeat and see if you can calibrate it with the rhythm of life.

Taking a step back…

crossroads, Energy, Life balance, Spirituality, ,

The most recent visit to the retreat was after the olive trees were planted and they looked as if they had settled in quite well. The grass in the labyrinth had grown by about a foot and it seemed an ideal time to use the newly acquired whipper snipper to good use.  With a brisk north wind blowing and forgetting that I have a rye grass allergy, I had a shot at redefining the paths. After a short time, I had to retire to re-hydrate and to take some antihistamines!

The antihistamines went to work, but I couldn’t shake the tiredness and a cough had developed. Returning to the city, I grabbed some take away for dinner, but didn’t have much of an appetite and went to bed quite early by my standards. Monday morning I tried to get a doctor’s appointment, but no luck. Probably something to do with the political announcement that doctors fees were going up because of the government restructure of Medicare.  I stayed in bed…. by Wednesday, I knew it was time to see a doctor. Again, no appointments available at my usual GP, so off to the bulk bill clinic down the road.

Pneumonia was diagnosed….. just what I didn’t need with a busy Reiki teaching month and hypnotherapy clients coming up.  After a bout last year, which took ages to recover my energy from, I decided then and there that I had to take a deeper look into why I was manifesting this. Being in an altered state from the illness has given a different perspective and rather than wanting to be in a state of helplessness, I decided that I would use this enforced “time out” as a positive exercise.

Louise Hay in Heal Your Body sees pneumonia as being “tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal” – her aphorism for this is ” I freely take in Divine ideas that are filled with the breath and intelligence of Life. This is a new moment”.

Debbie Shapiro in Your Body Speaks Your Mind goes a little further, suggesting that we need to look at what might be so deeply inflaming our feelings about breathing…. or if it is something within that we are unable to express. “….there are hot emotions her, as well as pain and exhaustion, depleting our energy. The act of breathing is the act of living. Are you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed by the burden of having to keep going? Is there a longing to stop and take some time out?  ………The relationship of breath to spirit is often seen in this illness, as mystical or spiritual experiences are not uncommon in those suffering from pneumonia…….”

Caroline Myss in Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, states ” When an illness is part of your spiritual journey, no medical intervention can heal you until your spirit has begun to make the changes that the illness was designed to inspire…..the most effective healing option. when you are facing an illness as a spiritual challenge, is to rely on your spiritual practice to bring you the insights you need. ………Seeing illness as a spiritual challenge does not reduce our chances of healing, but we need to understand that spirituality is first and foremost the path of gaining inner rather than physical strength. Physical healing can certainly follow, but whether it occurs or not is part of one’s spiritual destiny………..”

She continues….”healing requires a willingness to make changes in both your physical and spiritual ways of life. Healthy changes of lifestyle and spiritual practice are parallel roads leading to the same goal, and each road needs to be driven along every day.”

So in the company of good teachers, I’m taking a little time out to make some changes with both the physical and spiritual ways of life.

Adding an Olive Grove

labyrinth, Permaculture, projects, ,

olive-grove-6A milestone birthday saw the gift of 6 olive trees to be planted at the retreat. Two of one variety and four of another. In my enthusiasm, I have left the labels in the shed, so am not sure about the actual variety.  I have been assured that there is a difference between table olives and oil olives. Either way, I’m sure I’m going to learn how to work with the crop. (Update:  they are Kalamata and Lecchino)

Presently there are plenty of flower buds on 3 of the trees.  Apparently the olives are too bitter for birds to be attracted to them, but I have observed a olive-grove-5large flock of cockatoos in the olive plantation down the road, so if I’m serious about getting a crop, I’m going to have to net them.

With the heavy clay soil waterlogged at times, I decided to work on the soil and wait for better weather before planting them out.  After the holes were dug, a liberal application of gypsum was applied and dug into the clay. Previous applications have worked well in conditioning the soil along the lines that mark the labyrinth.

Each visit since June, the soil has been turned over and the holes re-dug, partly to aerate them and partly to allow the winter rains to reach deeper into the soil and to get the gypsum to mix in with the clay.   With a revitalized Oak tree at the entrance to the labyrinth & possibly another acorn germinating at the northern edge, I decided to put the olive trees about olive-grove-7a metre out from the labyrinth, spacing them out…3 on each side, resulting in approximately 5 metres between each tree. That should give them adequate space to thrive.  The soil on the Eastern side is quite poor and very hard to dig as it is heading toward a section of the hill that has quite a bit of scoria, and I’m hoping that the addition of the gypsum and compost will be adequate.

The composting process has been improved and composted buckets have been transferred to a large compost bin and topped up with extra sawdust. Some early warm spring days have resulted in some good quality soil. This was well mixed into the previously dug holes and the trees planted. olive-grove-4

John, our friendly neighbour, advised that wallabies are partial to olives, so some sturdy wire was purchased and the trees surrounded by this. Also taller stakes were used as I have observed the kangaroos using the stakes around the oak trees as chin scratching poles!

Planting done…..an appropriate addition to the 7 ring Cretan labyrinth and I’m hoping that the energy of the labyrinth will help to nurture these Olive trees.….

One day, far into the future, long after the labyrinth path has subsided back into the paddock there will  be a small olive grove…..

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Magic

extraordinary life, gratitude, Retreat, ,

greenhood-orchids With good winter and spring rains and some sunshine, Mother Nature has woven her magic and produced some beautiful plants to admire now that the land has lain fallow for several seasons and mulched with last season’s grasses and biddy bush.

Swathes of greenhood orchids, just gently nodding their heads in the breeze. I did chuckle when reading the gardening notes for them as these have sprung up out of heavy clay and have had no attention whatsoever.

Billy ButtonsSpring brings a colour palette of yellow….. first the wattles… with different varieties blooming over a period of time.  The longest lasting blooms are the pale, almost white wattles that have spikey branches.  This year has brought forward thesedrosera-3 tiny button like flowers that have carpeted the anthills and have started to die back.  Walking about, not only keeping an eye out for reptiles that may be stirring from their winter hiatus, the eye catches other small plants such as Droseras. Starting off as a small rosette of leaves, these grow into delicate plants that gently sway in the breeze, topped by a small pinkish white flower. They are carnivorous, but have yet to make any inroads into the thriving mosquito population.

CapeweedThe rains have also meant a bumper crop this year throughout the district of Capeweed. The yellow daisy like flowers with a dark centre are particularly attractive to the bees and I’m hoping that the local apiarist is getting some good quality honey. wildflower-2

In the afternoon light, there appears to be a patch of feathers in a stony area. Closer inspection reveals it not to be feathers, but tiny delicate irises, no more than four to five centimetres high.  The habit of carrying a camera on any expedition pays off, as the flowers have gone by the morning. Initially, I thought that the wildlife may have eaten them, but on a subsequent visit, noticed that by early evening the flowers had wilted and shriveled and later that night, by the light of a torch and with no wildlife in sight all that was left was the thin strappy leaves.

New Acquisitions

extraordinary life, gratitude, labyrinth, ,

WattleI love the way the wattle just seems to explode with exuberance from the tight buds into fluffy, exquisitely scented pom poms after a drab and chilly winter.

The yellow stands out against the green paddocks which also yield a secret not seen before…..a combination, I have concluded, that is a mixture of more than adequate rains and the paddocks lying fallow for the past two and a half years. natural insect control

From a distance it looks as if the grass in places is starting to yellow, but on closer inspection the grass is found to be swathes of sundews – a carnivorous plant! Starting off as tiny, delicate roundels, the plant matures and has a small almost insignificant flower that tops it. They are growing in and around the large labyrinth – so it may be that the rings of the labyrinth are acting as swales to hold the New but old.... seating in the labyrinthmoisture in the soil.

A perfect place to observe these plants is from the first of the new additions to the retreat.

Spring not only brings the wildflower season, but a hard rubbish collection in the city.  So the first of the new acquisitions was a swing chair found in a pile for kerbside collection. Permission was sought from the owner and it was dismantled and re- assembled to be a labyrinth viewing and meditation seat. Newer cushions were discovered on a different pile and replaced!

green hood orchidsI was excited to discover a single green hood orchid on my walk down to the lower dam a few weeks back and even more so to green hood orchidsfind them growing in abundance in the back paddock. I had to chuckle at the growing notes on several sites… not grown in soil, water and fertilize frequently – these are in heavy clay and exist on whatever rainfall has come this way and are fertilized by kangaroos and hares (which have left them alone).

new chairsThe newest acquisition came about from a conversation about the first. A colleague’s neighbour was downsizing and had just put out a set of 4 garden chairs for her hard rubbish collection. I followed my colleague home and stacked them in the back of the 4WD and here they are! Perfect for sitting around the fire pit and much more civilized than camping chairs!

 

 

 

 

 

Perception

balance, business, , ,

serviceA very curious thing happened at a networking function the other evening, which relates to the title of this post.

Food had been prepared and the caterer was busy pouring drinks for the attendees, so as a committee member, I volunteered to help with the serving of the food.

Armed with platter and serviettes, I started to wander around the room, lending a helping hand.  Approaching a couple of groups of people, food was offered and I attempted to start a conversation. Quizzical looks….food was selected and conversation stopped…..This happened a couple of times and then I realized….. I was being perceived as wait staff and the expected behaviour is that wait staff don’t engage in conversation with attendees at functions!

waitstaffAs an observer of behaviour, I found this mildly amusing and decided to test by going around without a platter of food. This time I was able to engage in several conversations!

Reflecting on the experience, I began to wonder about the subconscious expectation we have about people in different roles and to use a biblical phrase “about having a servant’s heart” and how it can be applied in business.  It’s about seeing that a task needs to be done and stepping up to do it with no strings attached.

But it is also about perception… there have been reality TV shows based on just that…. where the CEO dresses casually or a little bit scruffily and wanders around his or her business to observe what is going on. Many “action” movies have the villains move about in the guise of waitstaff…. they are “invisible” as they serve.

In your daily life, have you thought about your subconscious responses to people who       serve you? We all expect good service when out for a coffee or a meal, but consider the energetic exchange when you expand your awareness to include the person serving and I am sure that it will be reciprocated.

Behaviour and Brain Function

balance, lessons learned, ,

Just over 10 years ago, I gave a presentation at the Melbourne Regional Conference for MYSA. I had returned to teaching after some time working for a private company that had developed an exercise based program for people with learning difficulties.

It was interesting to be on the other side of the teacher’s desk, listening to the frustrations of both parents and young people and to see the positive changes that they made with the program. In the past, many of these young people (and their parents) may have been students who had undiagnosed learning difficulties and were often the ones most likely to be sent to the principal’s office with “behavioural issues”.

The presentation was titled The Physiological Aspects of Brain Function and Behaviour in the Classroom. I enlisted the help of a couple of teacher friends who had also done some work with alternative therapies and were ready to help me make this an interactive presentation and push some boundaries. The room was set up with 8 to a table and the obligatory conference mints were in good supply as was a selection of brightly coloured balloons.

All started quite normally…..

Firstly I identified some common classroom behaviours and asked the audience to then consider if they had students that exhibited them. Many responded in the affirmative. I then asked them to reflect on the idea that a physiological reason for these behaviours.

Did anyone have students that constantly tipped their chairs? Once more hands were raised. The student is most likely to be doing this to stimulate the Vestibular system.

What about students that slouched in their chair or over the desk? Yet again the audience indicated with a show of hands that they had students like this. The slouching is a stimulus for both the Vestibular and somatosensory systems and in addition, the student may have poor core muscle tone.

For the student who reads better when lying down (think of the Primary School reading corner with bean bags), they are stimulating the somatosensory system by having more touch receptors engaged.

At this point, one of my friends began to tip on her chair, just often enough to visibly irritate some of the people sitting near her. I asked the audience for feedback on how they would deal with such behaviours and most indicated that for safety reasons, they would ask the student to cease the behaviour, and in some cases would issue a detention notice for bad behaviour. I then shared with the audience that I carried a “wobble board” into my classroom and students who had exhibited such behaviour were encouraged to stand on it for a minute or so when they felt the need to tip their chairs.

Students who wander around  the classroom are needing to stimulate their vestibular, oculomotor and proprioceptive systems. This was the signal for my other friend to get up and start wandering around. She circled the tables and took mints from one table and gave them to someone sitting at another…. I “ignored” her and carried on….

When a student is easily distracted by movement or sound, it is likely that they have a hyper sensitive oculomotor or vestibular system. For those who constantly tap a pencil or a foot or leg, it is possible that they are stimulating their somatosensory system.

And what about those scruffy uniforms? Rather than handing out slips for uniform infringements, consider a hyper sensitive somatosensory system. Tags at the back of the neck, ties undone…all uncomfortable stimulants for a sensitive student.

Since giving the paper, there has been a greater awareness of students on the Autism Spectrum. One of the key characteristics is lack of eye contact, and forcing eye contact may cause distress as it overloads sensory perception. These students can process much better if they are not forced to interpret facial gestures and social cues. Lack of eye contact can also be associated with some cultural traditions and is something to be aware of.

The vestibular system is extremely important. It filters most motor responses to the brain and the oculomotor system is linked to it. Studies by Harold N Levinson & Barbara Phelong, discuss the importance of inner ear function and learning and further studies by the University of Melbourne have discovered that frequent ear infections impact on the student’s acquisition of language.

So what to do about these behaviours, now that it is probable that they are a result of physiology rather than “being naughty”?

For excessive movement, can you find an excuse for the student to go to the office or library?  Give a time frame for the errand and discuss this option with the relevant staff, so that they know to expect the student.  Encourage the student to do as much sport as possible, including trampolining, tae kwon do or tennis. Students with this issue will often seek out or prefer to engage in non team activities.

For the chair tipper, it is suggested that parents invest in a fit ball for the student to use when on the computer or watching TV.

The easily distracted student may be dehydrated, overtired or hungry. There may be issues at home that are taking their attention away from the learning environment.

Check that the lighting is working well. Often the flickering of a fluorescent light, and what is imperceptible to many is a nightmare or very distracting for someone with oculomotor sensitivity. Similarly an overload of external visual stimuli can be very distracting and recent studies have shown that “less is more” in the way of posters and the like in the classroom.  If the student is easily distracted by sound, then create a quiet space for them to work in. Headphones plugged into some music that is playing at a low volume will help them to focus on their work.

To further encourage more focus during class time and in conjunction with the understanding of the possible physiological causes of the behaviour, include rewarding non disruptive behaviours on the marking sheet (rubrics) for assignments. This is a bonus for students who are always on task!

And you might be wondering about those balloons… each one on the table was a different colour and shape. Some were easy to blow up and others a little harder. Some took quite a bit of persistence and I’m sad to say that some participants didn’t try at all….

Simplicity

Abundance, Choice, Coaching, , ,

Planting seeds at balance4lifeWith the end of the financial year upon us, new goals are set for the following quarter, much as once the ground becomes a little warmer, we will sow our spring crops.

Plant those seeds too early and the frost, much like the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt will hold back a successful harvest.

By focusing on your goals and making them clear, you will simplify your life and / or your business. If you are looking for some certainty in your life, then using tried and tested goal setting models will simplify the process. Trust that by doing this, you are allowing your energy to flow more readily and actually help to turn those thoughts into reality.

A dream is a goal without a deadline….

Reflect on what you have been focusing on… it is said that you create more of whatever you focus on…. so make it positive! Release anything that hasn’t worked and let it go with gratitude and grace, because nothing stays the same for ever. Change can create great shifts of growth and awareness. Choosing to change a situation that has not turned out as expected can take some effort and is not necessarily a failure.  Be honest with yourself and identify and face the problem.  Are you in a negative or positive mindset? Fear based beliefs are  often carried over from childhood subconsciously and when they are cleared, there is often a quiet space in which you become self aware and open.  As you become more aware of your thoughts and the energy that they carry, you can better trust in the process and awaken to your full potential.

Achievable goals happen when you have clarity of thought… is this path leading me to where I really want to be or is it a diversion? Know what it is that you are aiming for.  It’s one thing to recognize opportunity…. the key to success is taking action!

Anticipation

Abundance, balance, Positive, , , ,

Support for women in small or microbusinesses to help them identify their strenths

Right on the cusp of the Winter Solstice, there is not a lot of sunshine around in the southern most part of Australia. The soft, mist like rain soaking into the ground means that the soil will retain the moisture longer and there is an anticipation of lush new growth.

The spring bulbs have already pushed forth their leaves and a few “early birds” have blossomed. These bulbs have no expectations except to blossom.  The jonquil never expects to become a rose, yet within the core of its bulb it has the knowledge and wisdom of when to begin sprouting from its dormancy.  It doesn’t waste time worrying about the bulb next to it…. whether it is a hyacinth or a tulip or even onion weed… it just gets on with what it has to do and turns its face up to the sunshine when it flowers.

Yet some bulbs do better than others. They have the support of fertile, watered soil, adequate sunshine and good nutrients. Others may find themselves in a crowded position and could do with the support of a gentle gardener to place them in a less crowded place once in a while. Still others may find themselves overshadowed by a stronger shrub or bush and yet they still manage to put forth its leaves, even if this season they haven’t quite got the right conditions to flower.

And so it is, when starting out in your own business…..  There is an anticipation, a feeling of excitement as you begin your journey.  There is a delicate balance between anticipation and anxiety …. anticipation will allow you to let go of some of your expectations whilst anxiety binds you to them.  Wisdom is knowing  which is which.

Choose to be free of self imposed limitations by walking your talk and making wise decisions ……if you are having difficulty doing this look for support….you are not a failure if you ask for support and you will become stronger if you do so. The bulb needs the support of fertile soil, adequate water and sunshine, so too for you!

Are you in a crowded marketplace and need to move to more fertile soil?

Are you overshadowed by doubt or overpowered by others ?

You do have more control over your decisions than the bulb does. Acknowledge your personal power and reflect on your completeness. It may seem like hard work as you tend to your needs but the support of a coach or mentor will most often guide you to the path to your future.  Be open with them, they are not there to judge you, just as the rose does not judge the jonquil.  Check in with your feelings… if you are truly open to accepting support, then you will find that you are not defensive and effective communication will flow just like the winter creeks and rivers.

Take a moment to step out  of your own shadow and walk tall into the sunshine!