Change

A Balanced Life, Choice, flow, self examination, , ,

You can choose to change or circumstances can cause change to happen in an instant, but there is one thing that is constant…..change is inevitable.

Our body changes constantly although it would seem that the thinking that our whole body is renewed every 7-10 years is not correct. Some cells, the neurons in the cerebral cortex are never renewed and others will renew at different rates.

When it comes to our outlook, a shift in perception or change of physical circumstances can create ripples of change that encourage us to grow. Removing yourself from the hustle and bustle of daily life for a while and taking a short meditation break gives you time to be as one with yourself and review if there are any necessary changes that need to be made.

These don’t have to be done immediately – make a list and have patience with yourself as you implement these changes. Acknowledging the changes you have consciously made will allow you to close the door on the past and open new doors and let you travel forward to new adventures. There may be some emotional attachment to the past or negativity that arises, so take a deep breath in and step back for a moment and review the issue, creating some welcome space in the meantime.

Ask yourself:  “What are the triggers  and what am I going to do about it?”

“How can I learn and grow from that experience or resolve any inner conflicts in a peaceful, loving way?”

Cooperate with yourself  in this process and create more balance in your life.

Three Keys to building your Emotional Intelligence

Coaching, Life balance,

There is an art to being emotionally intelligent.

How so you might say?

Whilst there have been stacks of books and plenty of research on the subject, when it comes to improving your Emotional Intelligence you have to get in touch with your inner ARTist as I outlined in a recent presentation.

Firstly you have to Assess your emotions. Positive or negative, feel the emotions and name them and then let them go.

The second key is to Recognise that all emotions are feedback in some way.

  • Can you recognise patterns as you experience a particular emotion?
  • Is there a trigger that creates your response?

When you start to recognise these patterns, then you will have created a neural pathway that causes you to respond that way. Once you become aware of your own patterns of action or reaction, then you will also start to notice how other people react to triggers.

The third key is Transformation. This will begin to happen as you acknowledge your emotions as useful tools for feedback. Part of this transformative process is reflecting whether you are doing one of several things.

  • Are you denying the emotion or your feelings?
  • Are you over reacting or are you repressing the emotion?

Take a step back….. pause and do some deep breathing and allow yourself some space. If you feel you need some help in building your Emotional Intelligence muscle, then call or use the contact form to schedule some coaching sessions.

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5 Steps to value your time

Coaching, Purpose, , , ,

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time.”

M Scott Peck

  1. Track your time – create a spreadsheet in half hour blocks for each day of the week. Record when you are sleeping and all your other activities. Initially this may seem like you are “time wasting” but you will be surprised at what actually does take up your time. Include things such as time taken to travel to various places, shopping, showering, eating, etc.
  2. Prioritise – make a list of what is important. Sleep should be up there as a significant block of time as is time to spend with your nearest and dearest ones. Make sure you identify the difference between your regular “to do list” and projects you are undertaking. Set some deadlines for the completion of the tasks. You might also want to identify which activities are “fun” to do and those that are not. Reward yourself by doing the less fun ones first and the enjoyable ones later.
  3. Schedule or timetable everything else. Be flexible – you may want to create several schedules so that you get some variety each week. If you need to be on social media for your business, or answer emails then set aside some time to do that. There are numerous scheduling tools that can be used to automatically post to various platforms, but do make some of your posts spontaneous! For instance, I have a set time once a week to write blog posts (like this one). In that time I will write on a number of topics and save to a document to use later when I have scheduled in clients or have set time aside to prepare for upcoming workshops.
  4. Stop procrastinating – be honest with yourself. What excuses or reasons are you coming up with to justify your inaction? Do you value yours and other people’s time? Have you allowed enough time to get to your appointments?
  5. Focus – or learn the art of mindfulness. Multi tasking is so last century….. when your attention is divided, your energy is scattered. If you are following your schedule then you will complete tasks in what seems like no time at all. If your attention span is short, then schedule the tasks into small but incremental steps… the foundation of successful goal setting!

Dream Stealers

Coaching, dreaming, Insights, ,

“All our dreams can come true,

if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Walt Disney

There are 3 things that will take up your time and steal from your dreams. One is unavoidable and the other two will creep in and take up time that you could be taking action to move from a dream to reality.

They are:

  • Sleep
  • TV
  • Procrastination

It’s worthwhile to have an honest audit about the time you spend on each of these.

Sleep is necessary for our well being and studies show that poor sleep habits or interrupted sleep has a significant impact on our effectiveness. Too little sleep can be as unhelpful as too much.

TV or other electronic diversions such as social media can consume valuable time and time is the most valuable resource we can access. I grew up with a side plate that my grandmother gave me that had the words “Time and tide wait for no man”. It meant little to me as a child, but as the years have flown by, the meaning has become more relevant. Whilst we are unable to make more time regardless of our means and we can never get time back, we can manipulate it through self hypnosis. Reading other people’s posts on social media can be seen as wasting this valuable resource, so it makes sense to schedule limited time to access the various platforms or watching TV alongside scheduling time to work on your dream.

Procrastination or the art of shuffling papers or doing “busy stuff” is perhaps the most insidious time/dream stealer.

Ask yourself the following questions:

How much actual work am I doing to achieve my dream?

What changes do you need to make to create goals to achieve your dreams?

What steps do you need to take?

How will life be different for you after making these changes?

What will this allow you to do?

Thankyou for taking some of your valuable time to read this reflection!

 

August Retreat

Retreat, , , ,

It’s been a while since I wrote anything about the retreat.

Still there…. the grass is growing and the wattles are out and I can see the capeweed coming out of its winter hibernation. The positive side of that is the bees will love the swathes of yellow and will feast on the pollen.

A few more trees have been planted around the labyrinth.

I’ve been nurturing some pomegranate saplings in the city garden for a couple of years and as they needed thinning out, thought that they would add to the charm of the larger labyrinth. In addition to the mini olive grove, I now have a space where I can contemplate and cast my mind back to a couple of Ancient Greek myths.

Obviously, the olives are associated with the Oracle of Delphi and it was said that the first temple was constructed out of olive branches. Then there is the story of the labyrinth with the Minotaur at the centre. With the addition of the pomegranates, I’ve added a reference to Persophene…

I’m going to leave you to conduct your own searches either online or in perhaps long forgotten books to read up on these myths and legends.

From time to time we have visitors staying and it is great to be able to share with them the serenity of the place. Accommodation is still very basic and rustic and for the most part BYO. It’s not camping, and certainly not glamping…. at least not yet…. but the ambiance around the campfire each evening certainly adds to the experience. We’ve hosted some candlelit, sit down, share dinners in the shed which have been a great success. The chairs are courtesy of the hard rubbish collection in the city and with a couple of trestle tables…… what more could you want?

Each visitor experience is different.

For the last few years I’ve hosted the BMW MCC for a “Back to Basics” weekend. We supply the wood and water and those who are interested turn up with tents, swags, caravans and campers of all types and dimensions.

The Ambassador Suite (an ancient, original 1970’s caravan) is often pressed into service. We’ve even moved the old potting shed nearby and put in another composting toilet and euphemistically called it the “en suite”.  This actually provides more options such as designating male and female toilets as well as alleviating the need to build a “drop toilet” or put in a septic system (which would use up our precious water). More on that in a later post…

This year we hosted the BMW Club a little earlier than in previous years as the local township had listed a Wildflower Walk for that weekend.  We had most of the wildflowers they were talking about on the property appear last year and I was a little concerned this year when I couldn’t find any sign of them appearing in the weeks prior to the event. Not to worry……. We had 16 people attend and looking for wildflowers was low on the list…. socializing and experiencing the outdoors was on their minds. We all forgot to wander out to the observatory and look at the stars later that evening as the bush TV (fire) captured everyone’s attention.

It was reasonably mild overnight ….no ice in the hand washing basin…. and breakfast was around the fire again…. jaffles, cups of hot tea and then trips down to the dam for the youngsters to catch some yabbies (and return to see another day) and a walk around the retreat to look for wildflowers and to chat. Most managed a walk around the labyrinths and although I’m not trained as a labyrinth facilitator, it was interesting to hear from each person who did the walk how they felt about the experience.

Most departed just before lunchtime as the clouds looked quite threatening and it was reassuring to find those who came by motorbike all made it home safely. One of the guests made a great video about his trip up there and back which I have been given permission to share.

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Imagine

A Balanced Life, Coaching, Hypnotherapy

Imagine if there were no more diets to follow.

Imagine waking up each morning energized and not wasting another moment worrying or feeling guilty about what you ate or what exercise you didn’t do.

Imagine feeling strong, confident and loving the body you are in.

How would your life change if you knew how to improve your health and wellbeing by tapping into and trusting the inner wisdom of your own mind?

Did you know that your thoughts and emotions have a direct impact on your body?

How often have you heard of someone who is on a diet and goes to the gym daily, yet struggles to make the physical changes that they are seeking?

You can make the changes you need to easily and effortlessly with tailored weight reduction Hypnotherapy sessions and the best thing is, you will discover that by reaching out and discovering your subconscious or gut feelings that you are your own best friend and authority when it comes to what you do and eat.

Your mind and body have a unique connection and will collaborate to create a reality based on your thoughts. You can learn how to change those unhelpful thoughts and improve your health and wellbeing in just a few sessions so that your body and mind can co-create the results that you have already imagined.

 

Which path will you take?

balance, crossroads, , ,

You may be familiar with the metaphor of the fork in the road or crossroads, where a decision has to be made.

For most people the decision is easy and they choose the path most familiar and they will continue to get the same results as they are already getting. This familiarity provides certainty and in their minds is the safest option. As they travel, they tick off the familiar landmarks along the path and know when they will arrive at their destination and what to expect when they get there.

Yet for those who choose that other, sometimes risky path are open to adventure and a journey of a lifetime. Extraordinary results lie like gems scattered at the edges of this new path. It is not worn by the heavy footsteps of those who choose the other path.

Those who traverse this path need a different mindset and will need to rely on other senses to navigate it. This path will test you to know deep inside what you are capable of and to explore what you stand for and what qualities within you that you want to cultivate and develop.

Occasionally you may want to glance back at where you came from and that will show you how far you have travelled. As L P Hartley wrote in The Go-Between… “The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there”.

Travelling along the other path will necessitate change within and as such you will be a different person, richer for the experiences as you continue this journey. Those who choose the familiar path may no longer understand you.  Another saying you may be familiar with is “Success is a journey, not the destination”, but it’s often the change of scenery and companions that provides the impetus to transformation.  A map is handy, as is some idea of where you want to go and it is important to have a current map or reliable GPS to refer to if needed… Once you have decided on the destination you can let go of that and focus on the means to enrich the journey to get there.

The Cycle of Seasons

A Balanced Life, Spring, , , , , , , ,

Some things in life are certain… the sun rising and setting and moving through moon cycles and the seasons.

Spring is the season of infinite potential. Here there is great excitement as the earth awakes from its winter slumber and we start to plant the seeds that will grow and produce all manner of things later. It is a time of action and energy and we can envision what will become of those seeds.

Summer continues to be a period of growth with not much time to rest, although if it is hot we might be tempted to have an afternoon siesta, yet this will result in little reward. Looking after trees and other plants in this time can be challenging. Too much protection, for example over watering, can result in the plant not growing as well as expected. Similarly some environments are not conducive to growth and it is best to change position is order for the roots to seek out new and more fertile soil, much the same as change will allow us to develop new neural pathways.

Autumn is a time to look for the fruits of our labours, to harvest what we have sown earlier. Trees lose their leaves and it is interesting to reflect that a tree will never grow the same leaves each year. The shedding of the leaves is a great metaphor for letting go of the old to allow the new to come in. This is the season of the empty nest, when the parental duties are fulfilled and the chicks fly off to make their own lives.

Winter brings about a period of introspection. A deciduous tree may look as if it is dead whereas it is just in a resting state. It may seem that this season goes on for longer than the others due in part to the bleak, cold landscape, but internally and deep within the soil changes are taking place. Occasionally the frost is so severe that the tree may experience some damage or even die. Those that survive bring in traces of the old world, a sense of history and the memories and resources within them to the next season. And so the cycle continues…..

Believe

A Balanced Life, Choice, Coaching, crossroads, , ,

We all have an innate desire to protect what we already have and our ego will go to great lengths to make sure that what drives us will make us look good and get it right.  One of our key drivers is to feel a sense of certainty in our lives and to feel significant.

For some, self doubt will creep in and for a few this may lead to feelings of hopelessness or helplessness fueled by a lack of choice. Yet others will demonstrate a great flexibility in their behaviour and choose to focus on what they want. The mind is a funny thing, it’s actually a great goal setting machine and it will take you to where ever you choose to go..

The reality is that we all have a choice on what we focus on and you need to develop a keen sense of knowing if you are getting what you really want.

Check in using various strategies – ask yourself if you can see, hear or feel if this is right for you.

Check your language – is it positive or negative?  The mind works in symbols and you can shift the way that you are thinking about you by creating a vision that is exciting and inspiring.

Make it a clear vision and start to take responsibility for your goals and aspirations. I’m sure you have heard the saying “life is not a dress rehearsal”. Take a moment to go within and set some goals to be the best you can be…. knowing that you have most of the resources that you need within you already!

Steps to take:

  • Be clear about the outcome.
  • Take action
  • Be aware if what you are doing is working
  • Be willing to be flexible if necessary
  • Believe…..trust your unconscious mind as it will always tell you what it needs…. are you listening to it?

5 Steps to Overcoming the Challenges To A Balanced Life

A Balanced Life, , ,

What is a balanced life?
Can we ever achieve it?

A wise man said to me just recently that a completely balanced life is impossible to achieve, but I believe that we can take steps to make sure that it not completely unbalanced.

A very useful exercise is the “Wheel of Life” where you look at specific areas of your life and rate them accordingly. It is improbable if you joined the numbers on this wheel that you would see a perfectly balanced circle, although it is my belief that if you are aware of deficits, you can do something about improving that area. However one should also consider that balance consists of bringing the head and the heart into alignment.

The biggest challenge for many people is being present. One way to be present is to cut back on extra responsibilities and focus on what is really important to you. Look at your routines and prioritise. Eliminate or minimise what is not that important.

The next challenge is taking care of your body. Got a cold or flu? Then don’t “soldier on” as the ad says. Give yourself some down time or “me time” and consider if you continue to go to work whilst unwell, your presence may be compromising someone else’s health if they have an at risk immune system. Review your diet and lifestyle and choose not to eat highly processed foods and if you have the funds, book yourself in for a regular massage or Reiki to ease any tension stored in the body.

What’s your passion – your heart’s desire? Creativity will help you bring your life back into balance and studies show that regular meditation can increase your creativity whilst at the same time decreasing your stress response.

Another important element to consider in balancing your life is Patience. Life can get busy, there are the demands of work, home children…. the daily commute….

My Reiki practice includes the daily reflection on the precepts…

Just for today, refrain from worry – accept.
Just for today, refrain from anger – accept.
Honour your parents, teachers and elders.
Count your blessings.
Earn your living honestly.
Show gratitude to every living thing.
Mikao Usui

At times it seems like life is getting overly complicated and what may seem like a counter intuitive strategy, Simplicity is the key to getting back into some semblance of balance. Take a moment, 15 minutes would be ideal, to audit your work, relationships, diet and whatever else seems to be out of kilter.

Could you teach someone else how to manage these areas in a simple way?

For example, do you follow a difficult and time consuming diet/eating plan?

Look at whether you are consuming foods or eating at irregular times that contribute to increased stress levels and weakening your immune system.

Realistically, a work/life balance will fluctuate. There will be ebb and flow in various areas of your life and what works for you in bringing back some balance won’t necessarily work for others, but ultimately to create more balance in your life, you need to go within and reflect upon how much responsibility you will take to overcome these challenges.