Category Archives: Life balance

Meditation

wb051432Daily practice is what gets the results.

Most of the time we have good intentions and start a practice, but all too frequently I hear clients saying that  “Something came up” and they couldn’t continue.

It is precisely at those times that a good meditation practice is the most helpful. Through a regular practice of meditation, and it really doesn’t matter what style, it becomes easier to clear the mind at times of stress, access creativity and perceive the world in quite a different way.

3 simple steps to setting up your meditation practice will help you to start your practice.

At the Crossroads

Are you standing at the mid-life crossroads and wondering about going back to study?

If you know what you want to study, then that’s a start, but if you have been busy with bringing up the family or working to put food on the table, then the choices out there can be overwhelming.

There are a few questions to ask yourself:

  • For what purpose am I doing the study?
  • What will it get me?
  • Is it for pleasure?
  • To extend my mind?
  • To recreate my job into a vocation?
  • What level course do I need/want to do?
  • Can I trust the organization that is providing the course to deliver?

As with most big decisions, research is the key.

Firstly, be clear about your purpose in returning to study.

Next, ask another question.  “What will it give me in the long-term?”

Sometimes a non accredited, industry specific course, recognized by a peak body is worth more than a course from an RTO and will save your wallet thousands of dollars in the long-term.

Not all providers are equal.

It’s pretty much a case of Caveat Emptor – Latin for “Let the buyer beware”.

It is easy to be seduced by the glittering promises of a course that will enable you to earn a dazzling income – only to find out that you continue to spend your hard-earned dollars on upsizing courses as you reach out to grab yet another carrot dangled in front of you.

Research or shopping around can also save you months of study time.

The jobs market is full of job seekers who find that they are “over qualified” for the positions they have applied for. When you are starting out, an introductory course or weekend taster, if it is available is a good way to get a feel for the course content or provider.

Some TAFE courses lead to credit transfer points to Certificates, in turn leading to credits for higher qualifications, which can be handy. Sometimes all you need is a Certificate grade course to get entry into a field that you find fulfilling.

A case in point is a client, whom I shall call Beatrice.

Beatrice enjoys studying and the challenges sometimes presented. She qualified as a teacher after leaving school and in between teaching and raising a family of 3 boys, she managed to complete her Masters Degree in Education and gain more post-graduate qualifications in librarianship as well as a second Masters Degree in Management.
Her marriage fell apart when she was in her mid 50’s and she needed to return to work full-time to support herself. Interview after interview ….”Too qualified”.

After some Crossroads Coaching , she discovered that what she really wanted to do was to something new and exciting, so she signed up for a Certificate IV in Hospitality with plans to run her own boutique tea house.

The course gave her the skills to move into a different, practical area, quite removed from her teaching experience although her existing time management and people skills are valuable assets.

The coaching gave her the clarity to find out what it was she really wanted to do and the courage to move on.

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life

Confucius

The Meaning of…….

words….

It’s interesting how we put different meanings to words – depending on our

  • values
  • cultural upbringing
  • or perspective.

My background as a language teacher allows me to explore words both in English and Japanese. The artistic side of my brain is nourished by the beauty of the Japanese characters, whilst the logical side enjoys the structure which allows the character to be written in a balanced way.

Language and the love of words has always featured in my life and was nurtured by my grandmother who wrote “racy”novels for Mills and Boon in the 1920’s using a pseudonym as it “wasn’t the done thing to do” in her social circles in Colonial India. There is even the family story of being distantly related to a Poet Laureate, but not substantiated.

As a child in England, I have memories of the family sitting down and competing to get the best score in the Reader’s Digest Increase your Word Power and ongoing games of Lexicon and Scrabble. We didn’t have a TV until I was 15, then it was quickly disposed of when my grades at school plummeted.

I remember feeling surprised when talking to a student in a relaxed moment on a school camp, when he revealed that I was known to be slightly eccentric because of my extended vocabulary. Teaching students to find a better or alternative word became more than a passing interest after the tedium of marking essays filled with vernacular and repetitive words. The discovery an Edward de Bono book that had exercises using words was incorporated into language coaching classes and students given games to play using the thesaurus on the computer.

Even more recently, I was looking up a word in the dictionary – yes I still use a paper one – I ruminated on the words following…..

I was following up an idea about manifesting, as per  The Secret and all of that….(another post perhaps) when I noticed that the word following was “Manifesto”.

I bought a copy of the “Communist Manifesto” in a tiny bookshop in Nelson (NZ) in the late 1970’s that  my parents threw out when they “repacked” my stuff, not realizing that I bought it out of historical interest and not ideological alignment.

Again perspective comes into to the picture!

So how do you feel about the term Manifesto?

If an organization that you had contact with in the free, democratic world used it,  how would you react?

Do you see it as something that clarifies their position, states  their policy or something more?

If you are a Baby Boomer, as I am, what emotional attachment have you inherited from the word? Implications of control, compliance…….?

Then I turned the page and found some new words to ponder……………

 

One of THOSE days…..

Have you ever had one of those days when just about everything was just not working for you?

  •  Slept through the alarm clock,
  • got stuck in traffic, 
  • running so late that everyone thought you weren’t coming in,
  • burnt your mouth on the coffee you so desperately needed,
  • realize you had left an important document or report at home on the table where you had put it so you wouldn’t forget it, and on top of all of this,
  • everyone else seems to be in a foul mood.

 

Can you recognise what kind of state are you in?

State refers to your physiological and psychological responses to a situation.

Psychologically if you were having a day like this, you would probably be a little flustered and distracted, perhaps a little anxious.

How you manage your anxiety is what matters. Your awareness and recognition whether you are feeling anxiety, frustration or relaxation, all contribute to your wellbeing.

  • Are you experiencing events in a hurried, forced or leisurely manner?
  • Do you have particular triggers that cause us to feel in a certain way?
  • What are you picking up from non-verbal communication such as body language or voice tone?

Children often have a build up of excitement, as their birthday or a festive event like Christmas approaches and this is likely to be a state that is pleasurable, enjoyable………

….yet with a hint of anticipatory anxiety.

You may feel relaxed and at ease when the sun is shining because you associate this with holidays and good times, but another person may have a completely different perspective.

Take exams and tests.

You may have done really well as a child all through school, but as an adult when you studied for a test or exam for something that you really were not enjoying, your perception of your ability changed and you developed an anxiety around academic performance.

What is going on in your body while all this happens?

Changes in physiological state include changes in respiration rate, muscular tension, blood pressure, facial colour and temperature changes. Your “flight or fight” response is starting to kick in. Perhaps even a “freeze” response if the event is dire.

Sustained stress, including psychological stressors, will create changes in your physiology and if left unattended, will result in poor health.

Health issues that come about because of ignoring your stress responses are:

As stress increases, so too does the level of Cortisol inside the body. It’s a necessary hormone that the body produces to help us with stress, but too much stress equals too much Cortisol. An excess of Cortisol will raise your cholesterol and blood pressure, leading to Heart Disease. Stress hormones have the effect of thickening your blood, great if you are a warrior and get stuck by a spear or sword – it will slow down your blood loss, but not so good if you are sitting at a desk all day and your arteries begin to clog.

Social stress creates undue stress for many people and the emotions have been known to trigger cardiac events.

Cortisol also encourages fat storage, so if you are stressed about losing the excess kilos you have put on from stress related eating or the stress of dieting, you will continue to pile on the kilos…..

you can see that it’s a vicious circle…..

When you are stressed, you burn fewer calories and you are more likely to consume more food, particularly carbohydrates for quick energy. Unfortunately, this stresses the body further, as too much food is generally consumed, and the excess calories are converted to fat, which accumulates in the abdominal area. More people are turning to surgical solutions, such as the Gastric Band to create a smaller stomach in their quest to reduce weight. Imagine how easy it could be if you could use the power of your mind to do the same thing…….

Modern stress differs significantly in that the battles that we fight are not likely to be fighting the Sabre Tooth Tiger or a Woolly Mammoth, but a traffic jam on the freeway or a mountain of paperwork.

Other metabolic induced changes caused by an excess of Cortisol are:

  • Insulin resistance leading to higher blood sugar levels and Diabetes,
  • Reduced levels of oestrogen or testosterone which decreases the libido,
  • Suppression of immune cells leading to more frequent colds, flu or infections.

Chronic stress results in Cortisol and Insulin levels rising and signalling the fat cells to store as much as possible and hold onto the fat in case of “famine”.

The stressful event doesn’t even have to be real….. just the imagining of what “might happen”, the stress response will be the same.

So if you are overweight and cannot shift those kilos, you now know why.

Quite literally, you can put on weight even thinking about it!

Nature also gives us another hurdle to jump.

As we age, our metabolisms slow and a 50-year-old requires fewer calories than a 15-year-old. We also tend to move less as we age, thus not burning up the calories consumed.

Moderate exercise will relieve us not only of the burden of the excess kilos but also reduces stress, increases muscle tone and bone density. The flip side of the exercise coin is that excessive exercise can create the very stress that it is supposed to relieve, with élite athleteswho over train experiencing increased Cortisol levels, depression and weight gain when they stop training.

Another factor that leads to raised Cortisol levels is lack of sleep.

We are often “wired” in to our TV or computer in the evenings and long into the night. Excitement is provided by the latest “who did it” or action show and it is easy to lose track of time when engrossed in the plot.  Sleep deprivation – meaning less than 6 hours a night – will predispose you to insulin resistance or diabetes. The advent of the industrial age saw a good night’s sleep cut from around 9 -10 hours a night to the 7 or less hours we enjoy now.

Raised Cortisol levels affect the quality of our sleep in so many ways. An inability to relax in the early evening will cause the mind to become active later, resulting in insomnia that in turn results in feeling less than bright during the day. The fatigue that accompanies this cycle of events then leads to anxiety, forgetfulness, confusion and a tendency to more frequent infections. The increase in anxiety is caused by the stress hormones interrupting the function of neurotransmitters in the brain, causing physical changes in the brain.

The longer you go without doing something about stress and your response to it, the more chronic diseases such as IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), Asthma, allergies, Crohn’s Disease and other inflammatory diseases begin to manifest. Therefore, if you have frequent gut or lung ailments it can be an indication that you are not managing your stress well.

Having a strong and supportive social network is a good start to managing your stress.

Exercise will enable the body to use the stress hormones in the way nature intended and managing the mind through meditation will reduce them further.

Naturally, these are simplistic solutions and there is more to managing your stress than these three suggestions, and if you have a medical condition you should continue your treatment and see your medical practitioner.

Call or email to make an appointment for a session on how to reduce your stress.

The unique therapy based coaching sessions will enable you to gain clarity in just a few sessions with the support of natural therapies such as Hypnotherapy, Homeopathy and Reiki should you require them.

Is time speeding up or am I slowing down?

Well I’m not sure whether it is or not, but this weekend time will stop for a second as the clocks are adjusted and a second added.

Will we notice it?

Time seems to fly by at present. The time spent writing new course material, updating blogs (not that I have been very diligent on this one!) and keeping track of all the marketing through social media, it seems to me that time is at a premium.

Measured by the ticking of the clock, which some clients assure me they can hear on their hypnosis recordings, time is constant. It is what we do in that moment.

What distractions can keep us from finishing a task that is less enjoyable?

As one who is easily distracted by bright, shiny things and loves to wander down the path of endless learning, I am very clever at putting off the unpleasant or boring tasks. Setting out simple and achievable goals for the day and creating a routine is important. Yet, even in that split second that I paused after the last full stop, my eye caught on an uncapped pen which needed to be tidied up before finishing for the weekend.  Sometimes I reflect in wonder at the Diplomas on the wall, knowing that there were many distractions along the way.

So imagine what it would be like to be a time traveller, with the ability to manipulate time, feelings and outcomes.

Just take a moment to slip into the past to sort out the things that didn’t go as well as you expected or zip into the future to playfully fine-tune those outcomes and become extraordinarily successful, how would that be? Imagine how annoyed those who continually stare back at the past will be. Do you feel sorry for their continued aches and pains as their body inexorably trudges forward in time?

Is time travel really possible?

Well, the answer could be yes or no, as people are frequently moving their issues through time just by their use of language. The energy of what we say changes with the way we use tense to indicate where the issue is. We can move our issues through space and time in this way, and we can move our issues energetically to other people by generalizing or sharing your story or pain.

Typically a conversation that moves an issue to another person would go like this “ I have a horrendous meeting today – you know what it’s like when your stomach gets wobbly and you start to feel nauseous….” When you hear the words “….you know what it’s like….” There has been an energetic shift.

Here is an example of how you can manipulate time into past, present or future:

I have a issue

I did have a issue

I had a issue

I’m going to have a issue

I’m having a issue

I’ve always had issues

I’ll always have issues

I’ll always have had issues

How do you feel as you say each of these? Where are you? In the past, present or future and have you sped up time or slowed it down with the energy?

Now change issue to something pleasant. Like delight, pleasure, bliss, joy, exhilaration.

Notice how different that feels and how your thinking has changed. Notice whether you have used language in the past, present or future. Changing your words, can change your perception of time and outcomes!

Autumn

In the Southern Hemisphere after an unusual summer, autumn has begun with a series of heavy downpours. Much of country NSW and Victoria have been hit again with flooding for the second year in a row. Small creeks, usually insignificant are now torrents of water and threatening to inundate townships.

Mornings can be grey and misty and as we approach the Vernal Equinox, the length of time between night and day becomes more equal. There is a crispness in the mornings that takes a little getting used to after the warmth of the summer.

As the first of the Autumn Full Moons approach, we can turn our thoughts to manifesting new goals for this season.

These can be goals for improving health and wellbeing, so that the winter months are not spent laid up with colds or flu.

Still thinking of the approaching winter months, plans can be set in place to occupy our minds and to prepare us for a new fresh approach in spring. Take an hour or so to plan the next few months productively.

As you move towards a more introspective mindset, you might want to consider what, if anything has been holding you back. Whilst you are in this meditative state, ask yourself if there is anything that needs to be changed. Is it a habit or an unhelpful memory that can be addressed by accessing your unconscious mind?

How are you going to nurture body, mind and soul?

What gifts are you gathering from this season’s harvest which will nourish you and show you the abundance of the universe?

Life Lessons

I came across a saying at a training I went to recently:

“Are you ripe and rotting or green and growing?”

I would like to think that I am still green and growing, even though chronologically am scooting through the years.

The past 12 months have provided me with some great learning moments and the highs and lows of seeking to bring more balance into my life.

Challenged by new learning systems, particularly self paced study with webinars, and not face to face contact, I managed to achieve a bit over the months.  Difficult to find the balance between the detail that is required for submitting University papers and competency based  questions, I probably over intellectualized each question on the Cert 4 papers that I handed in.

The few face to face trainings that I did attend were quite unlike previous lectures or workshops and high energy and at times I was quite out of my comfort zone. All good though and I came away with new skills that I am putting to use on a daily basis.

Most of the year has been out of my comfort zone and parts of it have been a bit of a blur.

Physically, I was knocked out with a cardiac event – the date is indelibly marked in my mind – Thursday 10th February 2011. Emotionally, I was overwhelmed by the support of a few special people who have held my hand as I mended my heart. Particularly painful was the realization that family were not part of the healing process either at the time of the event or after the surgical ablation in July.

A bit like Humpty Dumpty, I felt like I had fallen off the wall and couldn’t be put back together again, but my “healing team”, consisting of a Homeopath, an Acupuncturist, a Hypnotherapist and a couple of Reiki Masters all worked hard to contribute to my improved health. I will also acknowledge the Cardiologist, in that he sorted out the electrical malfunction. New friends have been made and they may not be aware of the pearls of wisdom that they have given me at different times.

The lessons that clients bring are all part of the journey. It truly is a privilege to work with them and honour their trust as they go into a hypnotic trance. Each session has its special moments and it is quite profound to see the relaxation on their faces when they finish a session. Truly a trance-formation!

So the journey continues, veering down the spiritual road now, having picked up the tools of Reiki and Polarity Therapy  that I had set aside for so many years. Just recently I re-visited the EMF Balancing course that I did (OMG – that was last century!!)  And having picked up these tools, I am meeting and noticing people in my life that are claiming their spirituality, acknowledging the subtle energies of the body and feeling so much better for having them in my life.

The Energy of Women

An exciting morning at the launch of “Women Building Bridges” in Clayton. Sponsored by the Victorian Immigrant & Refugee Women’s Coalition and the City of Monash, it was a great opportunity to meet with women from all walks of life and areas of the world. Dances by women completed the launch  and  networking was done over the lunch catered by the women from the Cook Islands.

So many stories to be told and the room was full of warmth, inclusiveness and a genuine desire by all to reach out hands in friendship and support.

Watching the Emotions

The frantic rush of shopping, with tempers flaring over lack of parking spaces and erratic driving as people’s minds are elsewhere.

It seems that nearly every social event is awash with alcohol and this contributes to the scattered feeling.

It’s an emotional time of year at the best of times, with the Summer Solstice and the busyness of winding up school and work projects, Christmas or end of year parties.

The overload of food, laden in fat and sugar places stress on our physical bodies, whilst the overload of social events with the expectation of presents and gaiety overload our emotional bodies. The assault on our senses of tinsel and lights and constant caroling put further strain on sensitive souls.

Family functions are fraught with dangers. Long suppressed slights and perceptions can erupt into nastiness after the throat has been well lubricated with alcohol. To be an interested and disassociated observer at these social functions takes a lot of effort, but can have its own reward in feeling a sense of peace, finding an oasis of calm in the maelström of emotion that swirls about.

So how to go about surviving this time of year?

Choose to simplify – everything.

Presents

If buying presents has become a financial strain – set a price limit, organize a Kris Kringle with the family, suggesting that this way each person gets a quality present, and not something that ends up in that secret gift cupboard or drawer to be recycled to someone else.

Alternatively, announce that you are buying each person a charity donation which will help someone less fortunate.

Cards

E-cards are not the same as the paper ones, but a handy standby for the last minute seasons greetings. There are now online options where you can choose a card which are printed with your message and  posted out when your order is completed.

Events

Pick and choose your events. If you are an empath  (someone who picks up others emotional states), make a brief appearance and make your apologies as early as possible. Difficult to do with family events, but at these if you can make yourself busy with serving food & clearing the tables, you will be able to extricate yourself from most emotionally laden conversations and observe.

Food

Choose the least rich foods and avoid heavy, fatty food or sugary concoctions which will stress your liver. The festive ham is loaded with nitrates as are most cured meats. Avoid pasta, rice or potato salads if they have sat out for a while as they can cause stomach upsets. The festive puddings, such as Pavlovas, fruit mince tarts and shortbreads are laden with sugar & fats.

Research shows that a diet high in sugar results in premature aging and for blokes, a high fat diet has a negative effect on your reproductive system.

If the food is served as a buffet, you will have greater control over the food you put on your plate and the portion sizes.

Being summer, there is a greater chance of a range of salads included in the meal, so head for those and enjoy the rewards of not feeling bloated.

If your host insists on serving the meal, ask for a smaller sized portion for health reasons.

Find some time for yourself

Even a 5 or 10 minute walk or meditation will help out.

Avoid the alcohol and/or the Valium to keep your head clear.

Observe

Rather than react, observe the conversations and behaviours.

Being aware of illnesses or conditions that family members have and looking up Louise Hay’s Heal Your Body, allows you to see them in a different perspective.

For instance, the person with constant aches is probably longing for love or to be held or the one with tics or twitches is bound by fear and a feeling of being watched or judged by others.  

The elderly gentleman with prostate problems may have mental fears about his masculinity, sexual pressure or guilt or a belief in aging.

The relative with the knee problems may be experiencing stubborn pride and ego and has an inability to bend and certainly won’t give in. They almost certainly will have a bit of fear with that inflexibility.

Another relative with vertigo may be experiencing scattered thinking or a refusal to look at their lifestyle, whilst the child who constantly sulks in the corner may just be overwhelmed by the anxiety projected bythe adults who are unable to trust the flow and process of life.

Yet another relative with chronic shoulder problems has lost the ability to experience life joyously. They are making life a burden for themselves. The family alcoholic is laden with guilt, inadequacies and self rejection and the overweight members of the family hide their anger at being denied emotional nourishment.

Gratitude

Feel gratitude for something that the event or these people can bring to your life. Feel the grace and peace that comes with regular gratitude moments.