Category Archives: Coaching

Issues

balance, Coaching, ,

We all, at some time or another, have issues.

It is our choice as to how we act or react.

If we have come from a fear or control based childhood our responses are likely to be different from someone who has come from an emotionally intelligent background.

By overcomplicating things, we can often exacerbate an issue…..  who hasn’t heard of the saying “making mountains out of molehills” ?

By learning some simple emotional intelligence strategies, we can escape the return to “default” and exercise choice in our responses. These strategies will give you the courage to identify fears or issues and by facing them, you will resolve them. For example if you have an issue with conflict, then a useful strategy is to become aware of different perspectives. Ask yourself “What alternatives and opinions can be considered instead of sticking rigidly to this perspective?”

Simplicity

Abundance, Choice, Coaching, , ,

Planting seeds at balance4lifeWith the end of the financial year upon us, new goals are set for the following quarter, much as once the ground becomes a little warmer, we will sow our spring crops.

Plant those seeds too early and the frost, much like the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt will hold back a successful harvest.

By focusing on your goals and making them clear, you will simplify your life and / or your business. If you are looking for some certainty in your life, then using tried and tested goal setting models will simplify the process. Trust that by doing this, you are allowing your energy to flow more readily and actually help to turn those thoughts into reality.

A dream is a goal without a deadline….

Reflect on what you have been focusing on… it is said that you create more of whatever you focus on…. so make it positive! Release anything that hasn’t worked and let it go with gratitude and grace, because nothing stays the same for ever. Change can create great shifts of growth and awareness. Choosing to change a situation that has not turned out as expected can take some effort and is not necessarily a failure.  Be honest with yourself and identify and face the problem.  Are you in a negative or positive mindset? Fear based beliefs are  often carried over from childhood subconsciously and when they are cleared, there is often a quiet space in which you become self aware and open.  As you become more aware of your thoughts and the energy that they carry, you can better trust in the process and awaken to your full potential.

Achievable goals happen when you have clarity of thought… is this path leading me to where I really want to be or is it a diversion? Know what it is that you are aiming for.  It’s one thing to recognize opportunity…. the key to success is taking action!

Abundance or Scarcity Mindset

business, Coaching

Health and wellness professionals frequently cross refer, as do accountants and lawyers. Many medical clinics have a number of doctors on the premises and you may see one that has a time more convenient to you than your regular doctor. Each of those doctors will have a different style, different mannerisms and you may well find that you choose to see a different doctor depending on what ailment you have. General Practitioners refer all the time to various specialists and will often have a few specialists in a particular area that they endeavour to match well with their patient.

Personally, I see a variety of health practitioners if my body is in need of some attention. On my list of preferred practitioners are an acupuncturist, naturopath, osteopath and a medical practitioner.  If I need mental health care, I will consult with a hypnotherapist or counsellor. When you compare what they all do, the similarity ends with delivering health care, yet each practitioner is successful in their own field.

How the care is delivered, is what separates them. The naturopath, hypnotherapist and osteopath spend a greater length of time delivering direct care and the consultations can take up to an hour. The acupuncturist will take a history and then place the needles in and leave you to relax for around 20 minutes, and the medical practitioner is unfortunately bound by the Medicare model and has just 10 minutes to spend with you and will refer you on for further testing to gain more information about your problem. Of further interest is costing out the hourly costs…. For example if you look at each therapist/clinician’s hourly rate then you may be surprised. If I were to spend an hour with my medical practitioner, I would have to outlay more than $450 an hour and the specialists he/she may refer me to cost far more than that!

Just for a moment imagine that you are an expert in your niche and are approached by a business that caters for some of your ideal clients. It is suggested that a cross referral would be beneficial to both of you and would offer your clients the opportunity to know more about a local business that complements the services you provide and contribute to a sense of community in your locality.

Do you have an abundance or miserly mindset in response to this approach?

An abundance mindset allows you to both grow and if you are in a community, to grow the bonds within that community and creates a ripple effect or expansion of energy. Conversely, a scarcity mindset is all about keeping to yourself and with that, the energy contracts and your contribution and benefits to the community are lessened.

With an abundance mindset, you are comfortable with referrals to another professional or business safe in the knowledge that the universe provides more to those who share, whilst someone with a scarcity or fixed mindset perceives a referrals as a threat to their business.

Which model do you prefer to operate from and which sits more comfortably with your values?

Changing your mindset can take some effort, but the first thing to do is to be willing to change.

When you love what you do, the passion shines through and you will start to feed the mindset you want. It takes effort, not intellect to make the changes and having a vision, coupled with a growth mindset will move you towards your goals so much more quickly.

Spring Reflections

balance, Coaching, , ,

Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you can now make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you.

A Course in Miracles

How often do you audit your work life balance?

In business, one is encouraged to come up with  a plan which should be regularly reviewed …at least every 90 days. Achievable goals should be set and if they are not met , it’s OK to revise and tweak them so that a good outcome can be achieved. A good business plan will cover many areas, such as sales, marketing, networking and more. As the business evolves, so too does its needs. There is an ebb and flow of priorities in different areas.

For our personal lives too, we need to set goals so that we don’t just aimlessly drift into the sunset of dreams never fulfilled.  We may set a goal that  seems realistic at the time. Even setting what one networking person described to me as “a great big hairy audacious goal”.

All this is good,  but life will sometimes throw us a curve ball when we least expect it. The lessons to be learned when this happens are invaluable when we stop to reflect. Too much focus on a particular area will result in an imbalance in other areas unless we are diligent in maintaining a healthy work life balance. Many will be familiar with The Wheel of Life tool which is at the bottom of this post.

It’s important to have a positive mindset about any setbacks and ask ourselves the following questions.

  • What can I learn from this?
  • What could I do better next time?
  • What resources do I need to achieve the outcome I desire?
  • What goals do I need to set to achieve my outcome or vision?

Wheel of Life exercise

5 steps to overcoming overwhelm

Abundance, Choice, Coaching, extraordinary life, gratitude, , , , , ,
  1. When you are in overwhelm, it is helpful to think about what it is that you can do right now. By looking at the task as a whole and believebreaking it down into smaller, achievable tasks and thinking small for a moment, you will accomplish more. If there is a lack of movement in your life, consider how you can best use this time to move forward. When you have done that, look at today as the beginning of something new and positive, whilst letting go of the past.
  2. Declutter… you know the old adage…..” a tidy desk equals a tidy mind”…. But it’s more than that.. as you declutter; not only your desk, but your life… you free yourself to see a clear horizon and perhaps to answer your life purpose… Acknowledge that the journey is difficult at times. What skills, abilities do you already possess that will enable you to accomplish the tasks ahead? Look at what is positive in your life already……and try to go one day without any complaints….
  3. Believe in abundance. Trust that you can contribute to the Universe … to feel fear and lack is human…. Go into that feeling and learn from it and trust in the process of life…. map out on paper – or a white board – all the good things in your life already… we learn through the hard work that we do. Use your logic, your intuition and your spirituality to infuse your feelings so you become stronger and clearer.
  4. Consider your strengths…..see the light in others and see it reflected in you…..Use your experiences to make yourself stronger and more resilient. Be aware of self deception, we all make good and bad choices, but what is important is to be aware that they are yours…..
  5. Rest and relaxation. Are you getting enough rest or downtime? To do your best you need to have some time out. As written in the Four Agreements, “ You are alive , so take your life and enjoy it…” Set an intention to be in a state of joy and happiness, tune out anxiety and the daily worries to allow a space for enthusiasm and balance to be a part of every aspect of your life.

Six Signs of Sabotage

Coaching, Food Choices, Goal Setting, Weight Loss, , , ,

You’ve decided to do something about your weight. All goes well for a short time and then you may experience a plateau and in some cases a spiraling out of control and before you know it, you are back to where you started from.. perhaps even heavier.

How did that happen?

  1. Whilst a part of you wants to achieve success, there may be another part, an inner saboteur that is lurking within, ready to derail you. Sometimes the saboteur is someone near and dear to you. Family members, whilst often well-meaning, will sabotage your plans because of their own control issues. A partner may feel threatened by your new svelte and healthy appearance, subconsciously thinking that you will leave the relationship and sabotage your efforts by buying you chocolates or cakes.
  2. Are you drinking enough fluid? Water is preferable, but there are other non-calorific drinks such as herbal teas that are suitable. If you are dehydrated, you are sabotaging your weight loss by slowing the fat burning process down.
  3. Are you eating enough? Not eating enough puts the body into survival mode. After spending the night sleeping your blood sugar will have dropped, so skipping breakfast is another way to sabotage your weight loss. Make breakfast a priority and remember the saying “Eat breakfast like a King, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.” Having a good breakfast will help with your concentration and give you more energy to get through the day.
  4. Are you eating too much? Sugars and refined carbohydrates can be sneaky little devils. Substituting with Aspartame or other chemical sweeteners is not the answer either. Watch your alcohol intake as it converts to a sugar when being processed by the liver. It is likely you are overestimating how much you are eating.  Even though you are choosing healthy foods on your weight loss journey, the portion size matters.
  5. You have bad habits around food. Sitting in front of the TV to eat is a common one. You will either be eating too quickly, or eating unconsciously. Set the table, eat mindfully, putting down your knife and fork between bites and really savour the food…the flavour and textures of your meal. Make it as much a feast for the eyes as it is about an intake of calories. Grazing on food, having “nibbles” readily available is another bad habit. Clear the pantry of those snacks, biscuits and other easy to eat temptations.
  6. Do you “treat” yourself with food? If that inner voice whispers to you “I lost weight so I deserve to have that chocolate/icecream/biscuit/cake…….” you need to review your mindset around food. That inner voice may also whisper to you “just one …..” which if you take the offer up, helps you to slide down the slippery slope of sabotage. If you are going to treat yourself, choose something that’s not food related, like a movie, a massage or a new item of clothing. Take a long term view of your weight loss journey and check in with your thoughts on a regular basis. Instead of thinking that you are deprived of something, change your mindset by asking “Is this a necessity?” or “Is this an obstacle to me achieving my goal weight?”

Chronic stress can also contribute to weight gain. Cortisol, released as part of the stress response, can cause you to have an increased appetite and to crave carbohydrates. A quick way to reduce stress is with exercise to counter the effects of the stress hormones and meditation to still the mind.

To help you still the mind, I’m sharing my 20 minute Easy Weight Loss video which you can use as a meditation or a screen saver.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIYFBWAsmWs]

Health

balance, clarity, Coaching, friendship, ,

HealthAt a networking meeting that I co-host, I had a conversation with a couple of Reiki Masters….

I haven’t had a Reiki for myself for some time and have kept myself busy in various ways…. working on my business, the retreat…family…..day to day stuff…..

The question was asked…”what are you doing for YOU?” as I coughed, feeling it deep within my chest…. “what are you telling YOUR clients and not doing for yourself?”…..

I knew then, that there was no hiding…. no excuses! I couldn’t blame the alignment of the planets, other people…

Time to ‘fess up, so as to speak. Isn’t that what the metaphysics is all about? Oh Dear!! I felt all teary!     Cough…Throat Chakra? One of the Reiki Masters chuckled… that’s her speciality… pushing buttons…..

Yes… I needed that…. someone to ‘call me’ on my authenticity!

isn’t it amusing how the Universe works? It sends you clients who tell you “stuff” that you need to work on for yourself.

There are two options..

  1. Be like the metaphorical ostrich and stick your head in the sand and ignore what is going on – pretend nothing is wrong and carry on….
  2. Do something about it…. take the oxygen mask that has dropped down and look after yourself first before looking after others…

I shared a little of what I was feeling at the meeting, still holding back on other issues that I thought I would work some more on changing my mindset.

A colleague popped her head into my office between clients and offered an opinion – and  another friend phoned during a free moment…

I was feeling exhausted and hoping for the Universe to offer a solution….. which of course it did later this evening

… so with a few minutes left of a busy day, I have resolved to take up the offer of a Reiki and deal with some personal issues – so that I can be more present for the clients that have chosen to book in with me…..

 

 

There was movement at the station….

Coaching,

There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the colt from old Regret had got away,
And had joined the wild bush horses—he was worth a thousand pound,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted riders from the stations near and far
Had mustered at the homestead overnight,
For the bushmen love hard riding where the wild bush horses are,
And the stockhorse snuffs the battle with delight.

Banjo Patterson

One of Australia’s iconic poems…. and there is also movement here at Balance4Life Programs…. consolidating web pages and presence into a central spot, one step at a time. The majority of the posts here were imported from my original blog and as my business and life evolve and change directions, it is time to gather the scattered energies.

If you would like to read more about the Labyrinth and the progress of the retreat, please come on over to www.megphillips.com.au   …… I would love to see you there!

Setting up for New Year

Abundance, balance, Coaching, extraordinary life, , , , ,

Within youThis time of year can be filled with frantic activity to finish off chores, projects and to socialize, eat, drink and be merry.

It’s important to look after yourself and part of doing the best you can is to make sure that you don’t “burn the candle at both ends” and end up exhausted. Depleting your energy will leave you open to various ills, chills  and mental lethargy that seems to abound at this time of year. Not only that,  both your body and mind need to take a rest so that you can accomplish your future goals. This is particularly important with the round of New Year’s resolutions about to be made. Start your planning now to make realistic and achievable goals.

Firstly, taking time out to rest and rejuvenate is a way of showing love and respect for yourself. Sometimes others may not understand the need for this, but to be able to construct effective goals for the coming year, it is vitally important for you to identify what stressed you out in 2014 and ask yourself a couple of questions,  “What do I really want?”  and ” Why do I want it?”
Once you have the answers to these, write them down. This is the start to an effective goal setting strategy.

Meditation is a great way to have a fresh and rested mind and by setting the intent to do so you can release the worries from this last year with some simple visualization techniques, such as letting go of balloons that have your worries written on them, or clouds scudding across a sky and disappearing over the horizon.

What obstacles are in your way to creating a better year for yourself in 2015? Are they procrastination, being “busy”? Name the obstacles, in order to better plan around them or circumvent them popping up again. Awareness is the key to removing or resolving obstacles.

Who can help you achieve your goals? Or perhaps there are things that you need to put in place……  Be clear about what you want and communicate your needs with courage.

And finally you need a plan of action steps to take ……  there is no point in having goals if you are not going to DO anything.   You can dream all you like, but deep down you know that a goal is a dream with a deadline.

When are you going to implement your goals? Be specific. Take baby steps so you don’t get overwhelmed….. break it down so each step is achievable and moves you closer to your end goal.

Remember to plan for yourself, not what you think others would like you to do…. it means that you are stepping out of your integrity. Embrace the goals you have set for yourself, take a risk, acknowledge yourself and take action and let the universe reward you with abundance and transform your life…..

The Mind Body Connection

Astrology, balance, Chakras, Choice, Coaching, Emotional baggage, Energy, Polarity Therapy, psychotherapy, , ,

The years are catching up with me….. a couple of car accidents, more than a few motorbike spills and several falls down steep stairs have left their mark. The body requires some TLC to get moving at times anfeelingd finding a good practitioner since my chiropractor retired has taken some time. He intuitively knew what to do to get the body moving again!

I am convinced that a treatment needs to work on both mind and body to get lasting results. One cannot exist without the other.

Recently, I had an xray of my spine as I went to try out a new chiropractor. Seeing the damaged areas had a profound effect. Normally I’m not one to let the emotions go, but the combination of the evidence of past fractures and the adjustment created a space to re-visit the events around them and re-assess the emotions that lingered.

SoulThe most poignant image was seeing the clips that had been placed on the fallopian tubes. Done after 4 miscarriages, because I didn’t want to go through another heartbreak, although I already had 2 healthy children.  My eyes teared up and in a flash I had put that emotion on the backburner, just as I had done so at each miscarriage because I had young children, a busy teaching job and had to get on with living. It didn’t stay on the backburner for long.

On return to the office, I tried to compose myself. For distraction I checked my personal horoscope.  “Sun and Moon trine Natal Chiron” it read. “For this brief period of time, you will become more conscious of the energy for personal transformation and healing in your life. This will likely mean some form of deep seated pain for the purpose of working through old issues and ultimately healing these issues. During this brief period of time, you may be blessed to provide the impetus for healing to others. You may also feel healing energy come into your life from a meeting with another person during the course of this transit……”

Deep  breath……

It may be that the original injury (falling off motorbikes, down stairs or car accidents) contributed to a physical weakness in a particular area. But does having that weakness also weaken or affect the psyche? Think of the saying “water always flows to the lowest point”.

Louise Hay in her book Heal the Body, categorizes the cause of miscarriage as fear of the future. Inappropriate timing.

So what to make of that?  Her new thought pattern certainly gave food for thought. ” Divine right action is always taking place in my life. I love and approve of myself. All is well.”

Entering into a self hypnosis session, brought more emotions up. Recognize them, name them and let them go…… The past is the past and don’t hang onto them anymore was the message that came up.  Yes, sad  to never have met those children, but as a Past Life therapist I can recognize that these souls chose not to incarnate through me. Divine right action.  The love and approve of myself part is a little harder….

Revisiting the chiropractor a week and a bit later, he was surprised at how well my body had responded to just two adjustments. We chatted about the mind body connection, without going into specifics and he adjusted my lower back.

Returning to the office, I began a Chakra cleanse.  It’s going to be a work in progress. Taking the time to really work on strengthening the body, mind and spirit. Today I start on the Root Chakra (Muladhara) – had to chuckle at the description of when it malfunctions …

Obesity, sciatica, knee troubles, bone disorders, frequent illness, frequent fears, inabilty to focus, spaciness, inability to be still……. this could take some time to return to healthy function!!

I have books on my shelf that literally jump at me to be read at different times… Today “The Sevenfold Journey – Reclaiming Mind, Body & Spirit through the Chakras” fell off the shelf as I was getting another reference book out for a colleague to read.

So starting at the beginning I began to read….. The 7 Basic Rights…. Chakra One – the right to have. It’s about the right to be here. “This manifests in the right to have what we need in order to survive. When we are denied the basic necessities of survival:

  • food
  • clothing
  • shelter
  • warmth
  • medical care
  • healthy environment
  • physical touch

our rights to have are threatened. Consequently, we will be likely to question that right throughout our lives, in relationship to many things, from money and possession to love or time for ourselves.”

Maslow’s heirarchy…..

So here we go…. the messages from everywhere all point to some self healing work to be done, body and mind….. Life is such an interesting journey!