Are you a Giver or Taker? A giver will give of their time, often being the pillar of support for family and friends. Givers are the myriad of volunteers who contribute to charities, faith based organizations and communities. Their reward is not monetary and can’t be measured accurately as a marker of economic growth or downturn, but if they weren’t there their contribution would be sorely missed. You may have met the Giver who shares knowledge without thought of recompense as their reward is contributing to the growth of the recipient. It is also helpful to reflect on what a Giver gains by giving. There may not be an explicit reason for their giving and often the Giver is rewarded by emotional satisfaction. Gandhi said “The best way to lose yourself is by service to others.”
Open hearted and trusting, Givers are often naive when faced with the neediness of a Taker and they would benefit from realizing that they too, need boundaries. A Taker will often deride a Giver’s altruism, calling them a “soft touch” or weak, not realizing that by giving generously of time, information, energy or labour that the Giver has strength in their service.
Takers on the other hand, are those who are likely to be close hearted. They may present as the person who is driven to succeed at all costs, little realizing that the ultimate cost is to them. It is likely that you know a Taker or two. The person who only calls when they want something or perhaps it’s that person who, once they have the ideas or information they need from you, packages it up and delivers it as their own.
Other takers are what Sonia Choquette calls “Energy Vampires” and they are very familiar to therapists working in the holistic field. An Energy Vampire is attracted to the energy and open heart of the Giver, and unless there are adequate boundaries in place, the Giver will suffer “burn out”. Surprisingly, the Taker is often unaware of their unconscious greed, for that is what it is. In order to fulfill a need buried deep in the subconscious, the Taker is constantly looking for fulfillment by taking time, information, energy or labour that they feel will help them in some way.
Maintaining an equilibrium or balance between giving and taking and not being attached to the outcome is ideal. The concept of “Paying it Forward” is well known and you may have received from one source, but you are not obligated to return the favour.
Today I drew 2 cards. It’s not something I usually share, but the first card was from Doreen Virtue’s Daily Guidance from your Angels and the second card was from the Rider Waite Tarot. How are they related? The first was entitled “Release and Surrender” and over the past few weeks I have drawn this card 5 times. To me that means the Universe is tapping me on the shoulder to listen to a message. It’s a card about “releasing the challenges that you’ve held tightly gripped within your hands”. The second card was from the Rider Waite Tarot pack and there are several interpretations. The first was to consider a message that one might be building too many castles in the air. The second interpretation of the card was “ to relax the mind and open to the dreams and imaginings that an inner child loves to entertain” whilst the third interpretation was about representing limitless possibilities and potential but the need to focus.
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What is your intention? How do you set an intention? There are some simple steps you can follow to help you set your intention and reach your goals. There are some levels of abstraction in doing this as you align your conscious thoughts with your subconscious mind.
The next step is to go within and ask yourself who you have to be in order to do what you want to have.
With the New Moon coming up at the end of the week, my thoughts have turned to how I might prepare my monthly vision page. As this is the first New Moon of the new financial year I have decided to structure it a little differently to usual and will approach it similarly to a self coaching session. It will be interesting to see if the results are different as I sit down after a meditation session and journal my answers to the following questions:
plan somewhere where you can readily review them. As you move closer to success and progress to your ultimate goal, regularly review your goals. Ask yourself the following question: “What would I do if this step didn’t work?”
For goals to be really achievable, being specific is the key to clarity and success. Being specific means that as you work on setting your goal, you review what you want to change or add or even subtract as you become clear about what you want to achieve.
The idea of setting a goal is to move you from one place (usually “stuck”) to another. If you don’t know the way, you may well get lost or easily sidetracked, but if you have a map, even a rudimentary one or an ancient one – well used, you will get there more easily.